A Few More Posted Ads

For Sale: Monkey
Ignores my safe word. Need to get rid of – $50 obo. Will consider trade for OBEDIENT spider monkey or orangutan (male). Shoot me an email – name’s Blaine.

Free Doberman!
80 lbs. Tons of energy. Foaming at the mouth. Great watchdog or maybe murder weapon. Call Chance 24/7.

Missed Connection?
Me: the slender guy in the purple polo at the far left window at the bank on Vine.
You: the cute guy with the short cutoffs, pink mesh tank and angelic lisp at the window next to me.
Was it just me? Or did we share a moment right before you pulled the gun on that teller? Can’t stop thinking of U! Please respond!  <3

Room 4 Rent
15×12. Private entrance lets you come and go in private. Also includes swirling Portal to Hell (exit only). Super kewl!

Need Backup Dancers
2 help me dazzle on stage. This quarterly sales presentation is gonna be different! Email [email protected]

Yard Help ASAP
Can you dig a hole? Can you lift 180 lbs? Can you get blood stains out of a hammock? If so, call Toby. Will trade for wedding ring /or BJ.

RE: Missed Connection?
Yeah, that’s me. Sorry, not gay. Not by a long shot. Been married for 12 years. Not sure why you thought otherwise. Sorry. Hugs and kisses! XOXO Stanley.

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