15 Of The Best Deals We’re Shamelessly Plugging For Amazon Today

You don’t have the time or patience to poke around Amazon all day looking for cool stuff to buy. And we need money to pay for our billionaire playboy lifestyles. So here are the best deals we could find and shamelessly promote on Pleated Jeans today.

FTC mandated notice: We may receive some portion of the sales made on this list. We’re gonna use it to buy an Emmy. Oh yeah, the award show is fake you just buy those.

1. A horse head squirrel feeder because… yes.

You don’t really need a reason, do you? As a bonus, it’ll really make your mother in law laugh so hard she’ll forget to be passive aggressive to you.

Check it out here!

2. This organic bath bomb set is the bomb.

Time to up your self-care game.

Check it out here!

3.  This giant pizza blanket will keep you warm and cozy.

Much like real pizza. Only sleeping under this blanket is a lot less greasy.

Check it out here!.

4. An adorable timer so even your timer can be adorable.

Don’t leave a single thing in your house un-cute-ified. Candles. Fuses. Spark plugs. EVERYTHING!

Check it out here.

5. Oh my god look at this sushi pillow.

Just look at it. Then buy it. Then buy several.

Check it out here!

6. This gentlemanly ice cube tray.

For classy nights drinking boxed wine with ice in it.

Check it out here!

7. This macaron pillow is classy as hell.

Are macarons classy? I mean they’re French, right? Is France still classy?

Check it out here!

8. A watermelon umbrella to stay dry.

Will not keep you dry while eating watermelon. That’s physically impossible.

Check it out here!

9. This mug for brutal honesty.

It’s okay to be just okay. Lots of people are just okay. Really everyone except Oprah.

Check it out here!

10. A hanging solar system to keep sh** in perspective.

Contemplate the universe’s greatest mysteries while you wait for your popcorn to microwave.

Check it out here!

11. Then grab this shopping bag that looks like it’s from outer space.

More of like a 1950’s outer space. Where aliens were hot actresses in silver dresses.

Check it out here!

12. These headphones have cool cat ears!

One step closer to being Cat Woman. And by Cat Woman I mean Woman with lots of cats.

Check it out here!

13. Almost adult-ing, the book everyone can use.

Because really, “almost” is as close as anyone will ever get. Except Oprah.

Check it out here!

14. A chocolate USB drive! Do not eat.

No seriously. I can personally attest that this is not real chocolate.

Check it out here!

15. A tangerine neck pillow for your tangerine neck.

Use it on a flight and make everyone else in regular-ass-coach super jealous.

Check it out here!

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