Mike
Not everything on Twitter is news updates and what a Kardashian did this week, there’s still plenty of people cranking out great original jokes. One of the best is @wolfpupy.
If you’re into nerdy humor such as video game or sci-fi references, or even dark humor, then this is the account for you. He even has a fun game you can play here. All solid content and well worth your time.
1.
if you get a gemstone implanted in your chest people will just assume it is the source of your power and attack it, they don’t even take a second to consider maybe you wanted a gemstone implanted because it looks cool. that is why you should never let anyone into your life.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) October 15, 2019
2.
the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) February 13, 2015
3.
[david attenborough voice] the animal world is in constant battle with the pumpkin. https://t.co/MWVHm202tX
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) October 4, 2019
4.
if you approach the claw machine only hoping to win a prize you are missing out on the true joy of slightly moving objects around.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) August 24, 2019
5.
the name ‘Dig Dug’ commands respect for two reasons: 1.) can dig (skill) and 2.) has dug (experience)
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) June 19, 2019
6.
you don’t see a lot of skulls with a candle on top and the wax is melting all on the skull these days, you can blame the candle holder industry for that.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) March 22, 2019
7.
i did what i needed to do to survive, then i did a bunch of other stuff i felt like doing.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) September 2, 2018
8.
i want to apologise for earlier, also for later, and i guess right now isn’t great either.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) December 21, 2017
9.
had to downgrade from the skull throne to an inflatable chair filled with blood, it sucks.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) November 7, 2017
10.
if people would just stop constantly betraying me it would cut the amount of time i spend on revenge in half
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) September 7, 2017
11.
the last thing i want to encounter is an obstacle, let alone a whole course of them.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) August 31, 2017
12.
i was put on this earth to do one thing, luckily i forgot what it was so i can do whatever i want
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) May 9, 2017
13.
diamonds are no longer a girl’s best friend, in this day and age a girl’s best friend could be anything, even a poisonous jungle frog
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) February 6, 2017
14.
people need to wake up and start going to sleep, sleep has been proven to be a far better alternative to awake
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) November 22, 2016
15.
i don’t know who needs to hear this but you can smelt your uneaten halloween candy into ingots and store it for the winter.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) September 21, 2019