How many states does the U.S. have again? Let’s see, there’s Colorado… Guam? Is Guam one? Oh well, it’s not that important. What is important is the knowledge that you don’t have to drive around the country visiting all of these states because you’ve already learned all there is to know about them through the fabulous technology of memes.
Pop culture icons are everywhere: in magazines, TV, movies, the internet, and even: everyday objects. There’s no escaping them. Just when you swore off pop culture and decided to drive to the desert to live out your days sketching the local fauna on cave walls, you see the back of a semi-truck that looks mysteriously like the Cookie Monster.
These kids today don’t understand the struggle. They have it so easy with their unlimited access to music and information. Their realistic video games and hundreds of TV channels. Their twitter. Back in my day if you wanted to post a mean comment for everyone to see, you had to hire a skywriter.
1. We didn’t have Google Maps. We had to print out several pages of step-by-step directions, and sometimes those weren’t even right.
Sure, our prison system is overcrowded as it is, but at the same time, if we just let everyone go around leaving shopping carts wherever the hell they want, can we really say we’re living in a “society.” Yea, that’s what I thought. To that end, I submit we find the following people, give them a trial by jury (because this is still America,) then lock them up for a few years.