Good Surprise, Bad Surprise

Good surprise: waking up to the smell of freshly baked pancakes.
Bad surprise: realizing you’re in jail with a pending DWI and your cellmate used all the syrup.

Good surprise: coming home to see that your friends have cooked you a spaghetti dinner.
Bad surprise: Carol left the gas stove on and everyone’s dead.

Good surprise: finding out you’re in the will of a newly discovered relative.
Bad surprise: the relative is a healthy newborn niece and will likely die long after you do. Unless…

Good surprise: leaving the Taco Cabana drive-thru, you find an extra taco in your food bag.
Bad surprise: the taco was meant for the Toyota Corolla behind you. The driver? Fidel Castro. The secret sauce? Arsenic.

Good surprise: after years of auditions, you are finally cast in a blockbuster movie attached to a well-known director.
Bad surprise: the director is Uwe Boll.

Good surprise: you crash through the roof of a house, but a mattress breaks your fall and you survive unscathed.
Bad surprise: you interrupted the nap of Umgunti, king of the cannibal tribe.

Good surprise: you win tickets to see your favorite band perform live in concert.
Bad surprise: everyone laughs at you when you tell them your favorite band is Mr. Mister.