Go ahead – ask me! Ask me what I want to do today! No? Okay, then I’ll just come out and say it – LET’S GO BERRY PICKING!!
Too early? No way, Jose! This is it – the FIRST day of the season. It’s been a few agonizing months, but those little berries are finally ripe for the picking! And I don’t know about you, but my thumb and forefinger are just itching to pluck those plump, juicy berries right from the vine!
What kind of berries? Does it even matter!? Well, okay mister. It was supposed to be a surprise, but if you really must know – ALL OF THEM!! That’s right, you’re talking to the king of berry picking right here. I made some calls, asked around, and I found a field that has it all – strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, EVEN HUCKLEBERRIES!
No need to thank me – seeing the gigantic smile on your face after you haul in your first basket of berries will be all the thanks I need!
Go see a movie? What? You’re kidding me, right? Is it about berries? Oh wait, I get it! You’re just nervous because it’s your first time! Well don’t worry, because you’re gonna be picking berries with a pro.
I know all the secrets. For example, I recommend dropping each berry into your basket one by one right after you pick it. Why? Because picking all those berries is gonna get you pretty excited. And all that excitement is gonna have you going pretty crazy. And when you’re jumping up and down and waving your fists in the air (which will be often), you don’t want to end up with a bunch of squished berries in your hands!
Here, take this sun hat. What? You don’t want it? I don’t think you understand, this hat isn’t just for looking cool. And believe me, I’m not gonna have the pity, let alone the time, to stop and console you when you come crying to me about how the glare from the sun is slowing down your berry picking! No? Why?…Just take it in case…Fine.
I’ll just put it in the back of the car for when you change your mind.
Oh, and you’ll probably want to go ahead and bring a light jacket, because we’re gonna be there ALL DAY and it can get kind of chilly come nightfall. No, you won’t be hot the rest of the day! Just tie that bad boy around your waist and let it all hang out. That’s what the cool kids are gonna be doing!
Alright then, which basket do you want? Square wicker or oval wicker? Oval? Really? You sure? That square one looks pretty rad. I bet that sucker holds a heck of a lot of berries. No? Alright here, you go. Oval it is.
You know what? On second thought, that oval basket may be too advanced for you. It could tip over, causing all your berries to go everywhere. Boy, what a mess that would be! Really!? You’ll take square? Yay! THAT MEANS I GET OVAL!!!
Okay, that’s enough chitchat. It’s a 3-hour drive to the field, so get your taste buds ready and LET”S GO BERRY PICKING!!