One Day I Will Go On A Quest

One day I will go on a quest. This quest will be of no small proportion. It will be a large, hulking and bulbous quest that requires all my skills, cunning and strength. The goal of this quest is yet to be determined, but I imagine it will involve retrieving an item of great importance. Perhaps a lost Druid artifact or Hitler’s monocle. Whatever it is, I will be victorious in my quest to acquire it.

At the end of my journey, I will emerge from an underground cavern, or hidden tomb, or wizard’s castle…or maybe even SOMEWHERE ELSE! The setting has yet to be confirmed, but I will most assuredly “emerge” from a dark and moist environment that is dramatically appealing both stylistically and symbolically.

When I emerge, I will hold up the Ogre’s/dragon’s/leprechaun’s severed head in a triumphant pose as my manservant/travel guide plays Black Sabbath’sIron Man” on his pan flute. We will then dance a Russian jig around the head of said foe as we laugh and drink ambrosia, restoring our health to three full bars. And because we drank said ambrosia from our newly acquired Enchanted Chalice, in so doing, we have gained a shiny new fourth bar of health for any future quests we may encounter.

Once my strength has replenished, I will laugh hardily, and then look stoically off to the horizon and say, “Come Grimley,” that’s my manservant’s name, “home is just beyond the horizon.” Grimley will then provide comic relief of some sort (perhaps slip on some ogre blood) and we will head down the path we came as the sun lowers behind this big spinning rock we all call earth.

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