Excerpts From My Book Of Fables

“I’ll get there first,” the bear cried out as he ran blindly into the forest. The fox, on the other hand, took a moment to look at the map, and then confidently trotted along on his way. Soon enough, he came upon the basket of strawberries and quickly ate them. Eventually, the bear showed up, tired and hungry. “Looks like my smarts beat your speed,” the fox laughed. Angry, the bear lunged at the fox, ripped open his stomach and ate the half-digested berries, followed by the fox himself. The moral? Never taunt a hungry bear.

“Wolf! Wolf!” the boy yelled at the top of his lungs. “Lester! I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you,” he was informed. “Say it again, and this time, with FEELING!” the theater coach instructed.

The sun and wind made a bet. Whoever could get the traveler to remove his cloak first would be the victor. The wind blew harder and harder, attempting to rip the cloak from the traveler, but to no avail. Then, the sun rose lazily in the east. Upon seeing the sun, the traveler began to sweat. “Why don’t you take off your cloak?” the sun said. “Alright,” the traveler said as he removed the cloak. “Just don’t hurt my boy.” But it was too late, the sun callously pulled the trigger, and the traveler’s son fell out of the sky to his grisly death below.

“There’s a thorn in my paw,” the lion whined. “Not anymore,” the mouse replied as he reached over and expertly pulled the thorn out. The lion suddenly didn’t feel so cranky anymore, and instead of killing the mouse, decided to let him live – merely maiming him before skipping upon his merry way.

“I was expecting golden eggs,” the farmer said, holding the goose egg with displeasure. “Gold or not, you’ve got to admit that’s pretty amazing!” his wife said as she squatted and gleefully dropped another egg onto the kitchen floor.

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