“Dinner and a movie again?” she said. “How about we think outside the box for once.” “Fine,” I said as I removed my newspaper hat and unhappily crawled out from my trusty cardboard box.
“What did you think of Carl?” Jane said. “Really sweet,” Carol replied. “But also a little fruity for my tastes, if you know what I mean.” “Hmm, too bad. Maybe you should try Ted, then?” Jane suggested. “Okay,” Carol said. “But I just have to say these are the worst names for ice cream flavors I’ve ever heard.”
A recipe for a great date: 1 quart confidence, two cups flattery, a dash of mystery and 1 teaspoon of Rohypnol.
I walked her to the door with excitement. She’d turned me down twice before, but they don’t call her Third Date Kate for nothing. “So?” I asked with anticipation. “Are you gonna show me your prehensile tail of yours or what?”
“With my good looks and your good words, it’s only a matter of time before that good-looking secretary is ours,” I whispered quietly to the thesaurus.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” I said to the frightened newlyweds. “My theory is that The Beatles were right – love is all you need.” And with that, I shut off the oxygen pump to the specimen chamber and sat back to watch my experiment run its course.
She sauntered in wearing nothing but a pair of high heels and a smile. “Well, hello there,” she said. “Just one today?” he asked with a hint of disappointment. “Trust me, baby. I’ll make it worth your while,” she replied. “Oh, you always do,” the waiter said as he grabbed a menu and escorted the woman to her favorite booth in the corner.
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