Thoughts About Exercise

As Daniel neared the finish line, he knew he was about to accomplish something no one else had ever done before. “Think I’m too old to compete in a marathon, do ya?” he thought to himself as he shifted the car into gear and drove head on into the judges’ table.

Even though I pleaded and protested the whole time, I thanked the personal trainer afterwards. Because I know if he hadn’t pushed me so hard, I never would have ended up in front of that moving train. Finally, goodbye cruel world!

You know what can help you lose 10 lbs. in 7 seven days? A flesh-eating virus.

I walked up to Sandy’s door. It had been 6 months since she told me that she liked guys with big muscular arms. “Now I can finally impress her,” I said as I reached out and rung the doorbell with one of the severed arms I had “found” at Muscle Beach.

Hey swimmers: I don’t know which kind of stroke burns the most calories, but it’s probably not the kind where your body jerks around on the floor and foam comes out of your mouth.

If you want a drug that will make your wife look younger and more attractive, it’s called alcohol.

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