A Day At The Shopping Mall

“Sorry, sir. We only accept cash or credit card,” the cashier said. “What? But the laughter of little children is priceless,” I replied, tickling the boy harder to prove my point.

“I wish Chic-fil-A was open on Sundays,” Nancy said as we gazed at the darkened restaurant in the corner of the food court. “I know,” I said. “Just think how many of those soulless chickens could be dead by our hands with that extra 24 hours a week.”

“Nancy, these bags are digging into my shoulders. Can we sit down for a minute?” I asked. “I don’t know why you couldn’t just leave your bottle cap collection at home,” she replied. Foolish Nancy: BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT STEAL IT!

After hours of women’s clothing stores, finally we were in my domain. “Well, hello again sir,” the store employee said. “Jack,” I replied. “You know me as a man of fine taste in clothing, am I correct?” “But of course, sir, and I’ve placed a special item on hold in hopes you would come in today,” he answered as he pulled up a shirt from behind the counter. “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR?” I read aloud. “How perfectly devious – ring it up,” I crooned as I coolly pulled my Spencer’s Gift credit card from my pocket.

I watched with a smile as the little girl closed her eyes tight, made her wish and threw the penny into the fountain. “What did you wish for?” I asked. “A new kind of bubblegum that makes you fly when you blow bubbles,” she said. “Excellent,” I replied, before lowering the gun and silently slipping away into the nearby crowd.

“I could have sworn we parked here,” I said, standing on my tiptoes to get a better view. “No, we parked in lot A2,” Nancy replied. “Well I though that’s where we were,” I shot back. “No, this is the Little Miss department of Lord & Taylor,” she answered.


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