A Day At The Grocery Store

“I think we’re gonna need another cart,” I said as I threw the Go-gurt on top of the rest of the food. “Why?” Nancy replied. “Because, don’t look now,” I whispered, “but the lady I stole this one from is coming right for us.”

“I don’t think this one’s ripe yet,” I declared as I gently squeezed the baby’s head.

“Eww, these eggs are all cracked and broken,” I said as I looked into the carton. “I hope these ones are better,” I added, stooping down to pick up another carton. “I don’t think so,” Nancy replied. “Maybe if we try one of the cartons you didn’t smash with your foot,” she suggested.

“Half a pound? That doesn’t sound right; weigh it again.” I said to the man at the deli counter. “Sir, I’ve weighed it three times already,” he replied. “I have people waiting. Please, just take your sack of baby teeth and step aside.”

“Excuse me miss, how much does this cost?” I said to the store clerk, pointing to her vagina.

Choosing the fastest checkout line can be difficult, but if you want to get to the front of the line as quick as possible, here’s a tip: drop your pants and start massaging the necks of the people in front of you.

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