Street Ads

Lost Wallet
Had money, credit cards and driver’s license of the guy I stole it from. First name Jared? Jason? Jasper? Not sure, but def. started with a J. Contact Boris.

Lost: Big Sack of Teeth
Help! I need these teeth back for work. Boss is gonna kill me. Last seen on the 3 a.m. bus to Burbank. Gotta get paid! If found, place under your pillow at night and will pick up ASAP. Thanks – T. Fairy.

Be Discovered!
In a ditch somewhere after I dump your body.

Wanted
Various supplies to build a race of killer sentient robots – e.g. electrical circuits, metal piping and mop buckets with frowny faces. Can’t pay $$$, but will consider sparing life when the Robocalypse descends (but I’m not making any promises).

If you saw a vampire lunging for your throat, would you scream for help?
Then whatever you do, don’t turn around.

Feel Like You Need 8 Arms to Get Everything Done in a Day?
I can make it happen. Already got the arms and everything. Meet me under the Cahuenga/101 overpass. Bring $$$ and own sedatives. Name’s Fletcher.

Easy $50 To Test COOL New Invention
Help a noted scientist test his newest invention – the Death Orb. $50 guaranteed, whether your brain explodes or not. 10 minutes of your time, tops. Contact Gregor.

——

If you liked this, then other humor blog posts you may like include: