Dinosaur Bones Aren’t Real, and Other Prehistoric Thoughts

jesus and dinosaursIf you’re ever feeling jealous of the Tyrannosaurus Rex, just ask yourself, “yeah, but how many pushups can he do?”

Speaking of pushups, I think a good idea for a painting is Dinosaurs Working Out. Because, come on, a stegosaurus wearing a headband, tank top and Reebok pumps while lifting weights? Now that’s art!

How many cavemen do you think one dinosaur egg could feed? Because I’ve only got one, and Gronk and Unga-Wunga are both on their way over for brunch.

Experts think that dinosaurs died out when a giant meteor crashed to earth, but I have my own theory. And that theory is: giant ant people from Saturn.

Some people don’t know that cavemen and dinosaurs didn’t actually live together. What these people are forgetting about, is segregation.

Some Christian fundamentalists think that God buried dinosaur bones in the earth to test our faith. But any person with a scientific background will tell you about evolution, and how dinosaurs came from a traveling Martian petting zoo that crash-landed on earth.

I think riding around on a dinosaur would be just about the most awesome way to get around. Until, that is, it came time to parallel park.

I think a dinosaur phone book would be a pretty useless invention during dinosaur times. Because, man, that Saurus last name was way too popular. (also, no phones.)

OR…

If you and your friend ever see a leper with a bunch of open sores sitting on the street, here’s a funny thing to say: man, that guy has more Saurus than a dinosaur phone book!

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