Jeff Wysaski
Hey everybody, you really should get yourself to the voting booth tomorrow. Otherwise, this terrible list of things will totally, definitely happen…
1. This kitten will be really, really sad:
2. Your car will be in this kid’s way instead of at the polls:
3. This stuffed puppy will follow through on his threats:
4. This otter’s uneducated vote may actually make a difference:
5. Evan Longoria won’t have your back:
6. This brutally honest kid will send you a Christmas card:
7. This lawnmower will physically try to force you to the polls:
8. The wrong person could come to power:
9. This penguin wedding will end in divorce:
10. You won’t get a sweet sticker:
11. Michelle Obama will be super pissed:
12. George Lucas and Disney will make this movie:
13. Hero Cat won’t be there to save you:
14. But Stalker Dog WILL be there to scare you:
15. When things go bad, you won’t be able to say this:
16. Someone will give you this cake on your birthday:
17. You won’t have a good place to get rid of your gum:
18. Mitch Hurwitz promises to cancel the new season of Arrested Development:
19. And Nickelback promises to make a new album:
20. Your new nickname will be “Mirage”:
21. This bottle of Coke just might do it:
22. And this drunk koala will have another drink:
23. This dog will give you the stink eye:
24. And this hedgehog won’t invite you to his birthday party:
25. This rock will strike when you least suspect it:
26. You won’t have the chance to win this rifle:
27. And finally, the best candidate for the job may not actually win:
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