16 Awkward Wedding Day Confessions

The community over at Whisper recently shared some of their most embarrassing wedding moments…

35 responses to 16 Awkward Wedding Day Confessions

    1. Depends on your social group. One of my exes was my wife’s matron of honor. (She started her toast with, “Ian, I’ve never been happier than this moment that I dumped you.”)

  1. “Hey honey, we’re about to enter the most financially turbulent point in our whole life. You know what we should do? Throw a $15,000 party!

    It’ll be great! We could buy you a dress that costs as much as a car that you’ll only wear once.

    And we can get tons of flowers that are marked up 5000% that we can throw away 2 hours afterward. How about a cake, too? I know it’s just flour, eggs, and sugar but let’s spend $500 on it just for fun-sies!

    Oh, and how about we hire a religious zealot that’s going to shoe horn some homophobic political commentary about being one man and one woman into the middle of it? He could cast the magic spell that magically changes our relationship into a fairytale!

    And let’s not forget our friends and family! Let make those fuckers cross the god damn country to come to it!

    But wait, here’s the BEST part. After the party we’re going to take our credit scores and pick the worst of the two and keep that one, pay more money in taxes, and if all goes to shit we can spend 75% of our money paying legal fees to fight over who gets the remaining 25%!”

    1. lemme guess, dick weasle: you’re either a young, single loser who can’t get a girlfriend or a fat, bald guy in his 50s who feels bitter and trapped in his marriage?

          1. Speaking as a married person: you can be THRILLED with the marriage without being impressed by the wedding.

            That said, most of the weddings I’ve been to, including the one I had, were WONDERFUL. The trick is to have the one you want, rather than the one everybody else tells you you want.

    2. I was with you until the third paragraph. Have you somehow come under the impression that literally EVERY religious person on the planet is a homophobe? Do you honestly not realize that some Christian churches have been openly welcoming of gays for decades, that some people have non-denominational weddings with officiants who are licensed to perform them but may not have any religious background themselves, or that gay marriage is now a thing EVERYWHERE in the United States?

      Also, no, married people don’t “pay more money in taxes.” Where on Earth would you get that idea? It’s one of the ways in which society specifically incentivizes people to enter into that institution.

    3. I remember the long, EPIC fights with my mother in law over how we were not inviting any children to our wedding or reception. Me and my husband paid for the whole day ourselves (under £2000 mind you) and yet she was still trying to play the “I’m paying for this so I get to decide who comes or not!” card.

      She also said my openly-gay friend shouldn’t come because “gays are not safe near children”.

      On the wedding day she turned up with her 2 WEEK old grandson in arms and kept trying to make me hold him for pictures.

      I really don’t like kids.

      1. Wait… “gays are not safe near children?” Why? Is she afraid that children will heap emotional abuse onto people who seem to have unconventional sexuality? Did she think the children were going to just point and shout “fag!” until your gay friend broke down in tears?

        I assume you meant it the other way around, but I prefer to think that you quoted her verbatim and that she has some extremely bizarre but not really all that offensive beliefs.

    4. You really have issues if you think all weddings are like that.

      Mine? £2.5k budget, Druid handfasting ceremony, invited only the people we wanted there (and no kids – sorry but I don’t like them) and had a low-key but fun day. 14 years later we’re still happily married.

      My sister’s wedding cost £20k, she spent more on her dress than our entire wedding cost. They had a son and are now divorced.

    5. D.W.’s comment could certainly be seen as bitter to those who read the text only, come across a few words that can be easily associated with bitterness, determine that every word must now be tainted with bitterness and conclude that his every word was bathed in bitterness before he would use it, while gritting his teeth until he punched in that final period.
      I’m sure you’d read it quite differently if you took into account that people write as they speak, quite often, and we speak with dozens of pitch changes, and facial expressions which would add sarcasm here and silliness there and many, many other little variations that could end up showing that there was no anger or bitterness at all, but more of way to show how absurd some of our traditions are and that we just blindly follow them.
      Of course, I don’t know him at all, but many of you seem to know exactly what his mindset was when he expressed his thoughts, because of some special ability that you posses. Just pointing out possible alternatives here.

  2. We were taking pics on the stairs in the church. I stepped on my poofy dress and fell down the stairs. As I was falling my husband tried to catch me and accidentally smacked me in the face instead. I spent the reception with a fat lip.

  3. Exes are bad taste USUALLY…we don’t know the whole story. He may be the father of her child and on good terms and she felt it was the polite thing to do.

    To Dick – he does have a point. If you can afford it, go for it…but I wouldn’t go into debt and start our lives off that way either. Besides, people do get too caught up and forget that it’s about the two of you loving each other so much you think you want to spend the rest of your lives together.

    1. The officiant of our wedding had a rule: she wouldn’t officiate at your wedding unless you’d spent as much time talking to each other, negotiating, and thinking about your marriage as you did about your wedding.

  4. Exes are bad taste USUALLY…we don’t know the whole story. He may be the father of her child and on good terms and she felt it was the polite thing to do.

    To Dick – he does have a point. If you can afford it, go for it…but I wouldn’t go into debt and start our lives off that way either. Besides, people do get too caught up and forget that it’s about the two of you loving each other so much you think you want to spend the rest of your lives together.

  5. Too many people concentrate on the wedding rather than the marriage. Bridezillas everywhere!
    We had a very small registry office do, parents only and no-one else knew about it. With clothes, cake, etc cost £200, 22 years ago. You can do it on the cheap and still have a lovely day.

  6. Been married for 22.years. Our wedding cost £250.00 all in. You don’t have to go overboard. Keep it small, simple and intimate. It’s about the MARRIAGE not the WEDDING.

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