Your Facebook Friends Could Learn a Lot From Bill

This little stick-figure fella is Bill. Bill is a model citizen. Take some advice from these pictures and be like Bill. [be like bill] [via bp]

28 responses to Your Facebook Friends Could Learn a Lot From Bill

  1. Okay, let me get my pen and paper out… Don’t post about the weather, what you’re doing, where you’re going, your family or loved ones, your hobbies, your feelings or your beliefs. Okay, got it.

    Maybe Bill should just, uhh…delete FB.

    1. Then how will the government know what you are doing? Why are people so willing to give up their privacy? By the way this user name is an alias.

    1. Yeah, and that’s great and all, but sometimes the whole flood of photos and pointless status updates can be a bit much. If you’re at any sort of social gathering and want to share it with people, show the actual event and not a whole gallery of self-portraits. But yes, I do agree with you. It’s nice seeing what friends are up to if you haven’t seen them in a while or live in a different place.

      1. Or, and this is a crazy thought, clear out your social media feeds if it’s a flood of pointless content you don’t care about? It’s not like it’s rocket science – you literally only ever see content that you’ve explicitly chosen to view (and ads, always ads, but that’s beside the point).

        If you’re being flooded, it’s your own fault.

      1. You can just unfolow thier posts. You won’t disappear from thier friend list but you don’t have to look at thier shit, either.

  2. I think they need one more.
    Something like…
    This is Bill.
    It’s Bill’s Mother’s (Father’s/brother’s/sister’s, etc…) birthday/anniversary/occassion,etc…
    Bill’s mother isn’t on Facebook.
    So Bill doesn’t post about wishing his mother a happy birthday so everyone can (Not) think he’s such a good son.
    Bill knows that everyone thinks that’s a sad thing to do.
    Bill is smart.
    Be like Bill.

  3. This is Bill.

    Bill has no one to share his small moments of daily joy with. No one cares about Bill. Bill has no family or friends.

    Bill is lonely.

    Don’t be like Bill.

    1. Joy? Yes, that is OK to post about. But day-to-day joy (for example: My child woke up this morning, It’s amazing), being posted, is completely pointless.

  4. I hope one day we can come together as a society and make it socially acceptable to smash someone’s cell phone on the ground if they’re using it as a boom box.

    1. And i hope that soon there becomes a day where we can walk in the street and, if we see people we don’t like the look of, we can gun them down righ then and there, with no consequences whatsoever!

      /s

      1. Oh, just wait.

        There are already cities and counties that charge to call the police. Not too far from now we’ll have police insurance and if you’re not insured it will cost 100X more to call and only the rich will be able to afford calling the police.

        Then the next time a bum walks in front of a BMW, POW! What are they going to do? Call the police?

  5. This is Bill. Bill is a giant loser who has no friend because he constantly complains about everything.

    And I know most people really don’t care about the weather, but the really stupid thing with the “Bill doesn’t post about how it’s snowing/raining because he knows his friends have eyes/windows” – good for Bill that literally every person he knows lives in the same area as him. My Facebook friends are all scattered across the country, so if it’s raining here, it may not be raining where they are! And heck, once it was snowing where my mom’s work was, but it wasn’t snowing where I was, about 15 blocks away from her work.

    The 2nd and 3rd one, though, those are fine. People who vaguepost and then say “I don’t want to talk about it” when someone asks what’s wrong are the worst. Why’d you post it in the first place if you didn’t want anyone asking you about it?

    1. you feel so strongly about your phone and posting and 5000 friends?

      you know your friends are friends, when they are the first to grab a shovel and help ya dig bro…

      you’ll learn. one day.

  6. I think all of you are getting pissy because these Bill comics are making you face the fact that most of your interactions with others is about vapid bullshit over a stupid fucking medium.

    When was the last time any of you people throwing stones sat down with a friend or family member and talk, really talked, about the pros and cons of making murder booths that trick stupid people into walking into them?

    1. This is Dick Weasle

      Dick doesn’t choose to spend his time with friends or family, or taking walks, or learning something useful. Instead, Dick chooses to spend his time complaining about things, and not making any effort to accept, change, or ignore them.

      Dick is an asshole

      Don’t be a dick, like Dick

      1. Dick works full time for a non-profit organization that helps thousands of people each year, so Not a Dick can go fuck a sandpaper dick.

        1. happens to like seeing FB photos of random pics of people's days.although maybe not 500 selfies and definitely not the vague posts, those are legit the worsr, says:

          wow awesome. being paid to work at a job, everyone else should just remember we are all vapid idiots who do not do as much goodness.as you do.

  7. This is Bill.
    Bill doesn’t post useless bullshit on social media, which is great.
    However, Bill ruins every benefit of this by acting like this makes him a superior person.
    Bill is a pretentious dickwad.
    Don’t be like Bill.

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