Jesus Christ, just eat dinner before you go to the f***ing movie. Or if it’s so god damn important that you have a buffet laid out before you while watching your entertainment, get a frigging DVD and watch it at home. It requires far, far, far less effort than these people are putting into making sure they end up sluggish and uncomfortable by the end of the movie while also leaving behind shrimp tails and honey mustard stains in the theater.
Is this one of those things where people go to sick lengths to do something for no other reason than because it’s something they aren’t supposed to do? My mind boggles…
I agree these are probably wildly exaggerated, but it still raises the question… why? And I will rant like a madman in response to that question, not so much because I’m outraged but because it amuses the hell out of me.
My cousins and I once smuggled burgers and fries into a theater. Mostly because the theater didn’t sell snacks (it was in a mall), and even if they did, I wouldn’t have trusted any of it.
Or sure, that’s exactly what I assume. So for me, the most amusing thing about all these stories is that the people seem to think they were all being terribly clever and putting one over on the otherwise eagle-eyed ticket-takers.
I imagine most of those people are making barely over minimum wage. What are they going to do? Call security to pat down the woman whose lumpy bosom is obviously concealing a cookie platter? News flash: most service employees prefer to avoid confrontation wherever possible. Chance are the only reason an usher would go to bat to confiscate your smuggled pizza is because his lunch break is coming up and he doesn’t want to settle for another flattened peanut butter sandwich.
Believe me, people, no one thinks your crotch sub is just an enormous, chipotle-scented dong. If no one pries you out of your hollowed-out wheelchair, it’s probably not because they can’t see the hickory smoke wafting out of it. If you’re waddling into the theater, all you’re proving is that no one wants to take the time to find out whether it’s because you’ve got a thermos of Irish coffee strapped to your leg or because you shit your pants. If you think you’re demonstrating your skills as a smuggler, there are some Colombians who would probably be happy to pay you for a demonstration.
I came to the comments to say this exact thing. I guarantee that none of these people snuck anything in, they just got ignored because folks working in a movie theater aren’t paid nearly enough to pretend to care about this stuff.
And even if we *had* cared about it, we still wouldn’t have been able to do anything because company policy (at least at my theater) pretty much limited our response to politely asking you to please not bring that in, and even that was only in situations where the food was openly carried. If it was underneath a shirt or just in a pocket or whatever, we couldn’t even ask about it. Gotta avoid those lawsuits, after all!
I have no problem with people bringing their own food to the cinema but pizza, shrimp and any other smelly food is just downright unfair on everyone else.
1) They play ads during before the movie starts and all these people carry on like nothing. Like they don’t even care if you want to see VHS stock footage of a fly over of a local car dealer.
2) No cell phone etiquette at all. People are constantly talking loudly while I’m trying to talk to my girl on the phone. RUDE.
3) Movies are so pretentious anymore. I didn’t pay good money to watch some dumb ass movie where they expect me to follow along. Just show some ass and explosions already!
4) When was the last time they played “Get Down with the Sickness” in a movie? Too damn long. Movies now are all for god damn pussies.
5) Ushers acting all uppity, like they’ve never seen a piss jar before. Like I’m paying all this money to go and miss the best parts peeing.
6) The seats barely hold my baby carrier.
7) Every time you drop something on the floor it takes FOREVER to find it and it’s almost always sticky. And it’s especially hard when the damn thing keeps trying to wiggly away!
8) People get all jelly over my tight ass vap skillz.
I never go anymore – those chairs (at least in the UK) are really efffing uncomfortable when you’ve got a bad back like I do and I kept ending up with someone’s bratty kid kicking the back of my seat all through the movie.
And apparently it’s not legal to turn around and lamp the little bugger.
I once brought Sushi into the movie theatre cause I wanted to…bad idea the container wouldn’t lay flat in my bag so I had to put it in sideways and all the sushi smooshed together at the bottom. Also eating it in the dark was rather difficult…so not recommended…
At our local cinema – the wonderful Genesis in Mile End Road, East London- they will take your food if you try to bring any in but give you an apple in return and give you your food back later.
This is hilarious.
The last one was not food. (There is an obvious cunnilingus joke here, but we are all better than that.)
The last one was written by Alf.
It is in China
18: Wore shorts underneath trousers and put a coke bottle in an already large place.
…Your vagina?
the fu*k? these people are gluttonous. i just do candy and a bottle of soda if i do it at all
Food at movie theaters are ridiculously over priced in some places. Ever had to pay sevel dollars (USD) for a medium soda?
Jesus Christ, just eat dinner before you go to the f***ing movie. Or if it’s so god damn important that you have a buffet laid out before you while watching your entertainment, get a frigging DVD and watch it at home. It requires far, far, far less effort than these people are putting into making sure they end up sluggish and uncomfortable by the end of the movie while also leaving behind shrimp tails and honey mustard stains in the theater.
Is this one of those things where people go to sick lengths to do something for no other reason than because it’s something they aren’t supposed to do? My mind boggles…
I’m guessing that 80% of these are either made up or exaggerated. Relax.
I WILL NOT RELAX DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
I agree these are probably wildly exaggerated, but it still raises the question… why? And I will rant like a madman in response to that question, not so much because I’m outraged but because it amuses the hell out of me.
You need to calm down, my friend.
YOUR NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!!
YOURE NOT EVEN MY REAL MOM!
Do you want ants? Cause that’s how you get ants.
Ugh, I’m Dick Weasle and even I think that show tries too hard.
Thanks, Cheryl,
Right? I’m all for sneaking snacks into the movie, but wtf with these people sneaking in enough food to feed a family of 5 for a week?
THREE PINTS of ice cream?? For yourself?? And then do you have explosive diarrhea all over the seat from all the over-eating?
What’s the point of exaggerating or making up any of this? On a completely anonymous app? Some of these were funny, most of them were just sad.
Also why would you stuff cookies in your bra? You’re a woman. Bring a purse. Put the cookies in there.
No.
My cousins and I once smuggled burgers and fries into a theater. Mostly because the theater didn’t sell snacks (it was in a mall), and even if they did, I wouldn’t have trusted any of it.
Used to work in a theater–believe me, we can smell it, we just don’t care because we’re dead inside.
Haha I did too and this is the truth
Or sure, that’s exactly what I assume. So for me, the most amusing thing about all these stories is that the people seem to think they were all being terribly clever and putting one over on the otherwise eagle-eyed ticket-takers.
I imagine most of those people are making barely over minimum wage. What are they going to do? Call security to pat down the woman whose lumpy bosom is obviously concealing a cookie platter? News flash: most service employees prefer to avoid confrontation wherever possible. Chance are the only reason an usher would go to bat to confiscate your smuggled pizza is because his lunch break is coming up and he doesn’t want to settle for another flattened peanut butter sandwich.
Believe me, people, no one thinks your crotch sub is just an enormous, chipotle-scented dong. If no one pries you out of your hollowed-out wheelchair, it’s probably not because they can’t see the hickory smoke wafting out of it. If you’re waddling into the theater, all you’re proving is that no one wants to take the time to find out whether it’s because you’ve got a thermos of Irish coffee strapped to your leg or because you shit your pants. If you think you’re demonstrating your skills as a smuggler, there are some Colombians who would probably be happy to pay you for a demonstration.
You sure like to rant, don’t you?
I do. I really, really do.
I came to the comments to say this exact thing. I guarantee that none of these people snuck anything in, they just got ignored because folks working in a movie theater aren’t paid nearly enough to pretend to care about this stuff.
And even if we *had* cared about it, we still wouldn’t have been able to do anything because company policy (at least at my theater) pretty much limited our response to politely asking you to please not bring that in, and even that was only in situations where the food was openly carried. If it was underneath a shirt or just in a pocket or whatever, we couldn’t even ask about it. Gotta avoid those lawsuits, after all!
You sure like to rant, do you?
Your commitment to your bit is inspiring.
That shrimp, banquettes and Camembert one is just absurd.
Yea why wouldn’t you just make the sandwiches first? It’s also pretty mean to leave a bunch of shrimp shells on a theatre floor.
Not to mention the stench in the theatre for the rest of the day.
Provided it’s a flat food, I find chest binders useful for smuggling. Primarily bars of chocolate. Just put a jacket on just in case of any bulges.
/r/thathappened
My aunt once smuggled in a 2 liter of soda by wrapping it in a blanket and carrying it like a baby.
I have no problem with people bringing their own food to the cinema but pizza, shrimp and any other smelly food is just downright unfair on everyone else.
Seriously, who even goes to the movies anymore?
1) They play ads during before the movie starts and all these people carry on like nothing. Like they don’t even care if you want to see VHS stock footage of a fly over of a local car dealer.
2) No cell phone etiquette at all. People are constantly talking loudly while I’m trying to talk to my girl on the phone. RUDE.
3) Movies are so pretentious anymore. I didn’t pay good money to watch some dumb ass movie where they expect me to follow along. Just show some ass and explosions already!
4) When was the last time they played “Get Down with the Sickness” in a movie? Too damn long. Movies now are all for god damn pussies.
5) Ushers acting all uppity, like they’ve never seen a piss jar before. Like I’m paying all this money to go and miss the best parts peeing.
6) The seats barely hold my baby carrier.
7) Every time you drop something on the floor it takes FOREVER to find it and it’s almost always sticky. And it’s especially hard when the damn thing keeps trying to wiggly away!
8) People get all jelly over my tight ass vap skillz.
I never go anymore – those chairs (at least in the UK) are really efffing uncomfortable when you’ve got a bad back like I do and I kept ending up with someone’s bratty kid kicking the back of my seat all through the movie.
And apparently it’s not legal to turn around and lamp the little bugger.
If someone started to peel shrimp next to me in a movie theatre I would sucker punch them.
…..then you’d proceed to get the beating of your life…if it was me 🙂
I once brought Sushi into the movie theatre cause I wanted to…bad idea the container wouldn’t lay flat in my bag so I had to put it in sideways and all the sushi smooshed together at the bottom. Also eating it in the dark was rather difficult…so not recommended…
At our local cinema – the wonderful Genesis in Mile End Road, East London- they will take your food if you try to bring any in but give you an apple in return and give you your food back later.
Just put a jacket