20 Terrible Insults That Are Way More Confusing Than Offensive

Reddit recently asked for people to report the most confusing insult they ever received. Here are a few of the best responses. [via 22 words]

34 responses to 20 Terrible Insults That Are Way More Confusing Than Offensive

    1. Yeah, that one is up there with “You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.” Makes total sense and is actually pretty funny.

    2. That one is really an amazingly awesome insult. Like a really talented sitcom writer came up with it. Like somebody on Frasier probably said it at some point.

  1. “Youre looking like the pigs back today” is remarkebly to similar to “on the pigs back” which is an old irish way of saying youre very happy and energetic.

        1. I’m pretty sure “high on the hog” is a reference to tit order.

          Piglets get more milk the higher up (closer to the mother’s head) they are.

          So if you’re high on the hog it means that you’re the opposite of a runt.

  2. “Vending machine of lies” doesn’t seem confusing. That’s a fine turn of phrase, as far as I’m concerned.

  3. IIRC, “Go count your nose” is a Middle Eastern way of saying “go fuck yourself” because it’s a homonym in Arabic. I think that’s correct.
    Either way, it sounds to me like a bad translation.

    1. I think a few of these are transliterated from the original languages. Most insults are idiomatic and make no sense literally…

  4. The one about the elbow and teeth is brilliant actually. Someone feels insulted, yet has no retort to give because they’re so addled.

  5. One time, I was walking with my earphones and a random girl just took one of them saying hi In a sarcastic tone and left.

  6. I was crossing the road one day and despite the traffic lights being on red a car still shot past me, nearly knocking my walking stick out of my grasp, and the driver shouted “get a job you lazy ****”

    I’m not sure how crossing the road at 5:30pm, in a suit, with a walking stick and a laptop bag consistutes “unemployed”

  7. Have a friend who is an impatient driver. When he gets mad, he insults other cars with whatever couple inappropriate words come out of his mouth first.

    The most confusing (and therefore my favorites) so far are “d**k n****r” and “c**t f****t”.

  8. one time my mum screamed at another driver that she was a “Dog’s Vagina/Cunt” in greek…

  9. I called my boss a “fart catcher” in front of customers. He couldn’t even respond, just stood there staring, with his mouth open.

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