Beautiful Lies Parents Told Their Children (20 Pics)

Sometimes it’s just easier to lie. And sometimes it’s just more entertaining. [via acidcow]



22 responses to Beautiful Lies Parents Told Their Children (20 Pics)

  1. My mom really hated Gumby for whatever reason, so she told me that Gumby was a show that only grownups could watch, like South Park.

    1. At my house one year Santa thought mommy got left out for him. I saw him kiss her. 9 months later I had a new baby brother.
      I never liked that pointy-eared bastard. He always ate my cookies.

  2. At my house Santa gets cookies and milk even though Santa really doesn’t like cookies and milk and would much prefer Chips and Beer. That cookie and milk is my least favorite meal every damn year.

  3. One Christmas Santa happened to be on a diet, just like my mother…so he got sugar free cookies. At the time I thought it was a huge coincidence.

  4. Not gonna lie, the one about your ears turning red when you lie is genius. I’m definitely going to have to use it when I have children.

  5. The “no replacement batteries for that toy” one is pretty genius.

    The reclining seats on an airplane one, fuckety fuck you. The seats are supposed to all be in their upright position during takeoff and landing, and with how close together the rows on airplanes are now, reclining your seat at all is a major dick move, and if you do it, expect to get kicked.

  6. Wait, Chuck E. Cheese isn’t just for birthdays? I believed the same thing until just now at age 34. Granted I never really like it there anyway but you can just walk in ?

    1. If you walk in as a random 34 year old by yourself they keep an eye on you. They don’t keep the police department SVU on speed dial for nothing. And before anyone goes there you should dig up the chuck e chees employee ask me anything on reddit form years ago, lots of good reasons to not set foot in one.

  7. I don’t want to be a wet blanket here but . . . although I know some of these are jokes and Santa is a lie to begin with — but at least that’s more a socially-acceptable (even, to some, mandatory) part of childhood — but, yeah, lying to kids is, in general, really a terrible idea.

    Yeah, I know some parents get a kick out of tricking their kids (and making said kids feel stupid when they find out the truth from other people) but seriously . . . way to instill a lack of trust. And the ears turn red if you tell a lie thing — lying to teach kids not to lie makes as much sense as telling kids “Don’t hit people” followed by a parental smack. /rant

    signed, a mother of two grown “kids” who always knew I’d never steer them wrong or try to make them look bad.

  8. You know those big growth that trees sometimes have? My dad told me those trees had eaten kids and those bulges were the kids being digested. All so I wouldn’t go wandering in the woods alone. I also grew up reading the Brother’s Grimm fairy tales so I had an imaginative childhood!

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