Jeff Wysaski
If you want to know if your house is haunted by ghosts, then there are several questions you need to ask yourself to confirm the feeling. By completing this one-way Q and A, you will know if ghosts are in your home once and for all.
Do you often get chills or feel cold in certain areas of your home? Ghosts have incredibly low blood pressure (they’re dead after all). When you feel these cold drafts, you are likely walking right through a ghost! Areas where cold drafts are often reported include near bedroom windows, under air conditioning ducts and in front of the refrigerator.
Are you constantly losing your keys, shoes and other things and finding them later in odd places? Ghosts, particularly ghost children, are notorious tricksters and they love to hide personal items and watch you turn the place upside down to find them. However, lost trinkets do not immediately indicate a ghost. In many cases, it is something incredibly more mundane – like a leprechaun, fairy or Bigfoot. Also, if the item being stolen is female undergarments, it’s probably my friend Steve.
Do you hear noises in the middle of the night? If so, then this means that your hearing is normal and ghosts are likely not in your home. However, if you DO NOT hear noises from dusk to dawn and you sleep soundly through the night, then this is almost certainly because a ghost is holding his or her hands over your ears. They do this so their friends can rifle through your stuff without waking you.
Do you see ghosts? If so, then what you are seeing may be ghosts.
Do lamps, furniture or dishes inexplicably move from one location to another? This is likely the result of a ghost. Remember, ghosts have been cooped up in your home for decades or even hundreds of years. Much like a housewife, they get bored easily and begin to think that redecorating is a good way to kill some time. Of course, they are wrong, but if you want that ghost to keep putting out, you’ve got to put up with it.
Do you often feel like you are being watched? Then you probably are. By my friend Steve, who is outside your window waiting for you to go to bed so he can steal your panties.
If you answered “yes” to all, some or none of these questions, then it is safe to say that a ghost is haunting your house. In such cases, you should contact me, Harold Ramis, licensed ghost hunter, to confirm your suspicions. Call me day or night, 24/7. My schedule is pretty wide open these days, so I should pick up on the first ring. If not, leave a message with my mom and I’ll get back to you ASAP! Competitive rates!
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