Jeff Wysaski
Okay, I don’t know much about today – where I’ll be going or what I’ll be doing – but one thing is for sure: I WILL be doing it in a cat sweatshirt. Sorry, pony sweatshirts and puppy sweatshirts, but as usual, today just feels like a cat kind of day.
That part was easy, but now, the real question is, WHICH cat sweatshirt should I wear today!? I’ve got several and, if I do say so myself, they are all SUPER PAW-some! Well, after 20 painstaking minutes, I’ve finally narrowed it down to two options. But now – URRGG! – I just can’t seem to MAKE UP MY MIND!
True, no matter which sweatshirt I pick, I get to wear some super cute cats on my chest all day long – so really, either way I win. But I have to say, the comfort of that fact isn’t really doing much to make my decision any easier!
Alright, let’s run through the pros and cons again. First, there’s the one with the two cartoon cats. Both of these little guys are looking super playful and ready to get into trouble, which makes me laugh just thinking about all the crazy MEOWschief they’re about to get into!
Will they get into the laundry and mess up all my folded clothes!? Or maybe find a ball of yarn and get all tangled up and cute while playing with it!? Who knows – the sweatshirt DOESN’T TELL US THAT MUCH!! But that’s what I like about it – it let’s your imagination soar!
Then again, so does the other one – the one with the realistic-looking cats. First off, these cats are wearing clothes, which is a HUGE BONUS when it comes to cat sweatshirts. But secondly, they’re not just wearing any old regular clothes – they’re wearing BEACH CLOTHES! Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses!? On a cat!? WHAT!?!?!?
I know, the whole thing is PREPOSTEROUS – which is why I LOVE IT. Are these cats going to the beach!? If so, why!? Cats HATE water, remember? Although, all that sand is like one GIANT LITTER BOX, so maybe that’s it. Once again, the sweatshirt raises more questions than it answers!
Okay, there’s no doubt about it – both cat sweatshirts are equally intriguing. We’re not gonna find a clear winner that way, so let’s move on. Back to the first sweatshirt – OH YEAH! Something super important! This one actually has “I LOVE CATS” printed right on the front (with hearts for extra emphasis). This is pretty much a GIANT timesaver because it means I won’t have to actually tell every single person I meet today that “I LOVE CATS.” They can just read it right OFF MY SWEATSHIRT!!!
On the other hand, the other sweatshirt has THREE cats compared to this one’s TWO cats. Do the math and that’s 50 PERCENT MORE CATS on the second sweatshirt! So while it may take more time to tell people “I love cats” if I wear the second one, that extra cat might help them better understand JUST HOW MUCH I love them.
“You love cats?” they’ll say. “Well let’s see – one? Two? THREE CATS ON YOUR SWEATSHIRT!? Wow, that’s a lot of cats! You must really love cats A WHOLE BUNCH.”
Yes. Yes I do.
AAUGH!! See how HARD THIS IS!? Now I’m back to top of the scratching post – WHICH CAT SWEATSHIRT SHOULD I WEAR TODAY!? It’s a question without an answer – a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, covered with a warm, cute coat of PURR-fectly soft fur!
That’s it, I can’t decide! Guys, you all have been sitting here listening to my dilemma. YOU DECIDE. I’ll go with WHATEVER you choose. So which is it – which cat sweatshirt should I wear today!?
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