Jeff Wysaski
Yay! You guys, it’s finally here! After days of planning, preparing and waiting, it’s finally time to GO ON OUR PICNIC! I have been counting the days (and minutes!) for this time to come, and now it’s finally time to fill my belly with some of Steve’s yummy potato salad and Dave’s delicious finger sandwiches!
I know, I know. I was skeptical at first, but can you blame me? I mean, sitting OUTSIDE? On the ground? WHILE EATING? The whole idea just sounds SO PREPOSTEROUS!
But the more I thought about it, the more JAZZED I got. I mean, you take a few Tupperware tubs, add some great food and a throw in some gingham plaid place settings, and you’ve got yourself ONE HECK OF AN EXPERIENCE, that’s for sure!
What’s that Steve? You say the picnic’s canceled?
Ha! GOOD ONE! You had me going there for a second there! You old dog – playing with my emotions like that!
Oh. You’re serious. Well, I don’t like the looks of that rain cloud either, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have the TIME OF OUR LIVES sitting out there in that empty field! And need I remind you about the Bocce ball tournament? Remember? We were going to play Bocce ball – ONLY THE COOLEST LAWN SPORT OF ALL TIME!!!!!!
Go next week? Are you kidding!? That means I have to wait a whole nuther week before I get to use my AWESOME new picnic basket! And I’m not talking just any run-of-the-mill picnic basket, here. I’m talking about THE CANTERBURY! That’s right, it came in the mail yesterday. I was gonna surprise you two, but now even the joy of that moment is gone.
What’s the Canterbury got? Heck, what doesn’t it have? We’re talking a traditional English willow basket. 100% cotton napkins. And an interior navy corduroy lining that can only be described as ULTRA-PLUSH! Place settings for 4? Check. Wine glasses? Check? Cheese knife? Check. Fully insulated wine duffle bag? CHECK!!
Trust me guys, with all the bells and whistles on this bad boy, they were practically GIVING IT AWAY for $179.99 (plus shipping).
But I guess none of that matters now. Thanks to a couple raindrops, we’re stuck eating lunch inside. On a table. Like a bunch of common city folk.
Should I even bother breaking out our FUNNY HATS!!?
You know what? Forget it. I’m not even hungry anymore. And the sight of you two mooks is just making me SICK! I’m outta here. And unless you’re pouring Kool-Aid into a plastic wine glass while sitting under a 100-year-old oak tree, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
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