This Robot Needs to be 70 Percent More Radical

No. NO. NO! Guys, the design for this robot is ALL WRONG! I told you to bring me something “RADICAL.” This, my friends, IS NOT RADICAL!

robot drawingYes. He’s hip. There’s no doubt about that. And yes, he’s “with it.” I can definitely see that too. But for Christ’s sake Sam, the name of the robot IS NOT “Hip-Bot” or “With-It-Bot.” His name is RAD-BOT THE ROBOT!®

I mean, look at this thing. Just LOOK at it. Do you really think a preschooler is gonna waste his time playing with this completely un-radical robot!? HE’S NOT EVEN WEARING A SIDEWAYS BASEBALL CAP, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!

The way I see it, this robot needs to be 70 percent more radical. At least. Why? Because based on our research, the word “radical” scored off the charts with our target demo – males age 3 to 4. REMEMBER? So go back to the drawing board and don’t come back here until you’ve got the most MOTHER F-ING RADICAL ROBOT I’VE EVER SEEN!

How? Are you really asking me how!? You’re the creative team, not me. Jesus Christ, I already gave you the hat idea! THAT WAS GOLD!! What else do you want from me?

No! The hat is not all that’s missing! A sideways hat is only good for a MAXIMUM of 15 percent more radical-ness (depending on the angle). That still leaves 55 percent radical-ness we’re still missing!

What am I paying you guys for? Jesus Christ! Here – right off the top of my head. Throw on a Hawaiian shirt, strap on a neon fanny pack and give him a skateboard. BAM! 40 percent more radical. JUST LIKE THAT!

Where’s that other 15 percent gonna come from? You, that’s where! If you have to, buy some freaking Mountain Dew and sit in your chairs backwards to get into the radical mindset! But I’m done giving you DYNAMITE IDEAS, so just forget it!

And if you’re thinking of giving that robot a pair of sunglasses, think again! Sunglasses are COOL, not radical!

A voice box? A VOICE BOX!?!? Everyone, take a moment to thank Jimmy…because he just saved you an entire WEEKEND OF WORK!! Jimmy, you are the man! A VOICE BOX!! We can have him say radical phrases like “What’s Up, Dudes,” “Raise The Roof ” and “You are the man!” All in a super radical robot voice!

Bingo-Bango! Just like that, this toy robot just got 20 percent more radical! Fellas, go draw this bad boy up! Then, go out and buy up all the shares of our stock you can afford, because Radbot the Robot is gonna MAKE US RICH!!


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