Jeff Wysaski
53 AD: Roman Emperor Nero marries Claudia Octavia. After divorcing, Claudia would commit suicide nine years later to the day. Shockingly, Nero would choose to follow his first wife’s path by committing suicide six years later. Coincidentally, Nero committed suicide the same way Octavia did, by being forcibly flung off a cliff face by his second wife, Poppaea.
1534: Jacques Cartier is the first European to discover the Saint Lawrence River. One year later, Theodore Maxwell, a schoolchild in Nantucket, would be the first of many to point out to fellow classmates: “Saint Lawrence River? More like Saint BORE-ence River.”
1772: The British ship Gaspee is burned off the coast of Rhode Island. Though the idea to burn the ship was controversial, the Puritan settlers were vindicated in their “heated” decision to set it aflame when wreckage from the boat floated ashore, proving indisputably that the ship had, as expected, been a witch.
1870: Charles Dickens dies. Sadly, the death would come before the legendary author could finish his final tale: A Christmas Carol 2: Tiny Tim’s Revenge (This Time It’s Personal).
1934: Disney character Donald Duck is born to the world via a cartoon called the Wise Little Hen, in which Donald’s entire 3-hour birth is shown in painstaking detail, blood and all.
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