Aliens Observing Human Behavior in the Park

The humans populate much of this natural landscape. It appears that most of the humans are bound to a small strip of beige pathway. As they glark along, they seem unable to break away from this strip. Obviously, this pathway is an evil dlangon mind control device. Poor humans.

jared chapman alienA group of the tiny humans have escaped the dlangon device and glonk in the grass. They chase each other around a tall, leafy blogon; some sort of game, it seems. One larger tiny human is playing a game of “stop hitting yourself” with a more puny earthling. Hilarious.

A human couple has found refuge from the dlangon on a patterned gingham blanket. They feed each other sweaty meats and laugh with fervor. Clearly, they are free. Does gingham hold some sort of enchanted power on earth? Is it the key to freedom from the dlangon overlords? Almost certainly (note: buy gingham spacesuits.).

What’s this? A human glorks down the dlangon on feet of wheels! White cords shoot from its ears and its head bobs as it scoots past the others. This must be a dlangon human drone. The cords have clearly been implanted for direct mind control purposes. But why would the dlangon direct the human to trip over that stick and land face first onto the path? Sadists, no doubt.

Several humans sit at a table staring into bright, glowing rectangles. Curiously, none of them have tried to lick the flovons from the rectangle, not even when the glow is extra shiny. Either these humans have exceptional willpower, or they don’t want to be pregnant with tiny humans for some reason.

Another human is talking on a Bluetooth headset. He looks like a douche bag.

Looking closer, we see that several of the humans are being led around on ropes by various 4-legged creatures. Based on previous research, we know that the excrement of these creatures is exquisite. Which must be why the humans collect the vloxyn and take it home with them (to bathe in, no doubt).


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