Jeff Wysaski
I don’t think anyone will argue with me when I say that the sombrero is pretty much the greatest hat ever invented (bravo, Mexico). Truly, no other hat offers the same level of practicality (protection from the sun) and festive enjoyment as the sombrero.
And yet, despite this fact, unless you’re at a Mexican-themed cocktail party or a tourist trying to blend in with the locals during your Mexican vacation, wearing a sombrero is largely considered to be a faux pas.
My friend, it doesn’t have to be this way. I want you to know that you are not the only one who yearns (yes, yearns) to where a sombrero on a daily basis. Despite this backwards world we live in, there are plenty of ways to subtly ease a sombrero into your everyday wardrobe. Take your pick from the options below, and pretty soon you’ll be rocking that sombrero without so much as a second glance from your coworkers, softball buddies and fellow churchgoers.
1. Have Your Birthday Lunch at a Mexican Restaurant
Have your birthday at a Mexican restaurant and at some point during the meal, the restaurant staff will shove a sombrero on your head while regaling you with a festive and royalty-free version of the Happy Birthday song.
Great, you’re out in public and you’re wearing a sombrero! Doesn’t it feel great?*
Now here’s the key to keeping that great feeling going: never take it off. That’s right, wear that sombrero right back to the office (note: if the restaurant asks for their sombrero back, bring one from home and put it on in the car). Later in the afternoon, when someone tells you, “Hey, you forgot to take off your sombrero,” just smile and answer with something like, “Oh, did I?” Then walk off without taking off the sombrero. After a few days of this, everyone at work will just accept the new hat as a part of your everyday work attire.
2. Join a Mariachi Band
If you’re an average Joe, then it’s generally considered “weird” to be wearing a sombrero. But if you’re in a mariachi band, it’s considered weird NOT to be wearing a sombrero. As such, becoming a mariachi is one of the easiest ways to where a sombrero in public without getting made fun of. And don’t worry, you won’t only get to wear the sombrero during mariachi gigs. Just tell people you either just came from, or are on your way to band practice, and you can wear that badass sombrero whenever you darn well fell like it.
If you don’t have any musical talent, that’s okay. Just tell everyone you’re in a mariachi band anyway. If that jerk, Joe from accounting, acts all skeptical, just show him the 12-string guitar you’ve started carrying around with you wherever you go. Trust me, that’ll shut him up.
3. Start by Wearing Smaller Hats
The sheer size of a sombrero can often be off-putting to the general public. Therefore, a good way to ease your friends and family into the idea of wearing a sombrero is to wear increasingly larger hats over the period of several days or weeks.
On your first day start with something small, like a pillbox or yarmulke. Then, slowly work your way up through the ranks of the lesser hats – fez, newsboy, king’s crown, cowboy hat, etc – until you get to the sombrero. Suddenly, the King of Hats won’t seem so big anymore.
4. Wear a Really Big Hat
In contrast, you can also show up to work or church in a REALLY big hat (10-gallon hat, pope hat, one of those novelty foam cowboy hats). Sure, you’ll look like an idiot for one day. But when you show up the next day in a sombrero, people will think, “well, at least it’s not as ridiculous as that other hat.” And given the alternative, they will placidly embrace your new fashion statement.
*Yes! It feels great!!
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