Jeff Wysaski
Okay guys, I’ve been getting a lot of questions about my Thanksgiving Slumber Party that I am hosting. In order to clear up any confusion, here are some answers to the most frequently asked questions that I have received:
Do I Need to Bring Anything?
Every party needs a theme – mine is Thanksgiving. As such, please be prepared and bring a list of 20 things that you are thankful for. And guys, seriously, don’t just make it gay things like Xbox and Derek Jeter. I want real, meaningful things. Good examples include “the love of my parents” and “the smile my little sister gives me when I help her tie her shoes.” Also, bring a pillow and sleeping bag (prizes to the pillowcases that are most inspired by the theme of Thanksgiving!).
Is Your Thanksgiving Slumber Party Actually ON Thanksgiving?
No, of course not. That wouldn’t be very considerate of me, now would it? Thanksgiving is a truly special day that is meant to be enjoyed with your family. I would never dream of stealing that cherished moment away from you and your loved ones. Besides, I know I can’t compete with your mom’s pumpkin pie (LOL). Which is why the party is scheduled for the Saturday AFTER Thanksgiving.
What is the Itinerary?
Show up at 8. We’ll spend the first half hour opening and reading the Thanksgiving Day greeting cards that we got for each other. Then, we’ll drink hot cocoa and watch the wind blow against the trees in my yard while we sit in the kitchen and visit quietly. After that, we’ll break out the lists of things we’re grateful for and read them aloud. And for the rest of the night, we’ll treat ourselves to the simple pleasure of making Thanksgiving-inspired arts and crafts.
Will There be Googly Eyes for the Arts and Crafts?
Well, of course! How do you expect to make a handprint turkey without any googly eyes!? Come on, you’re offending my reputation as a party planner here! Not only will there be plenty of googly eyes (in three sizes btw), but we’ll also have plenty of construction paper, popsickle sticks and sparkly paint. So yeah, needless to say, you’ll be pretty set when it comes time to make your turkeys.
Can I Come?
No, Ricky Chalmers. For the last time, you cannot come. Your father has a hole in his heart and you need to spend some quality time with him before he goes in for his operation. I know you said the prognosis is good, but you never know what could happen.
What Snacks Will Be Served?
There’s been a lot of chatter going around the household about possibly pulling out the Stir-Crazy Popcorn Popper out of the attic. Now, I know the idea of munching on home-popped popcorn sounds like a dream come true (and you’re right, it is), but let’s not all go getting our hopes up. Word through the grapevine is that the popper is “all the way in back” of the attic, and stacked under several boxes of Christmas lights.
So really, our ability to eat popcorn is contingent on how my dad’s back is feeling that day. Now, I know it would be the pits if we couldn’t have that popcorn, but let’s not hound my dad about it, okay? His back hurts and we should respect that. Regardless, my mom is buying Pillsbury Crescent Rolls so we can unroll them and make our own pizzas. I said I wanted to order pizza, but she said this is better because you get to make it yourself and it’s cheaper. And you know what? SHE’S RIGHT!!!
Aren’t parents just the smartest!?
——
If you liked this, then other humor blog posts you may like include: