Jeff Wysaski
Hello, Drake here. I am a caring, sensitive guy looking for an easy-going lady to spend the rest of my life with. I am 33 years old, and though I am very grounded, my friends call me a “wildcat” at heart (which I guess would make me 165 in cat years – LOL).
So yeah, obviously I’m pretty hilarious and love to laugh.
As you can tell from my photo, I am a single father. Bradford is my 5-year-old little boy, and he is my world. We are a package deal (obvi), which means if you are not interested in caring for “young,” then please look elsewhere.
However, as you can see from his giant smile, Bradford is a joy to be around and really any girl would be lucky to have him in her life. Sometimes I just come home from a long day – all stressed out from the complications of life – to find Bradford batting at the fringe at the bottom of my window curtains. And it just puts everything in perspective, you know – GOD IS IN CONTROL! Relax and take pleasure in the simple things.
As you can probably also tell from Bradford’s smile, he is a special needs child (autistic). But he only has love in his heart, and you needn’t worry about him being difficult to care for. If you have keen motherly instincts and the ability to track and catch small prey, then you two should get along swimmingly.
Beyond a good rapport with Bradford, I am also looking for a partner to go “prowl” around with me at night. However, as much as I love late nights, I also enjoy “hunting” for the freshest fruit at farmer’s markets in Saturday mornings – so the ability to wake up bright eyed and bushy “tailed” is also a plus!
Now more about me: I own the Braided Belt Store on 5th and Figueroa. If you are unfamiliar with it, we offer the largest selection of leather braided belts in the country. Needless to say, the store is VERY successful.
In my free time, I enjoy pumping iron, watching Kansas State University basketball, and painting black spots all over my body. Also, Bradford and I could really use a third for our Sunday afternoon tea parties.
So what do you say? If you are an attractive, vivacious, agile female aged 24 to 35, let’s get together and make a family! Bradford and I are excited to meet you!
Don’t wait – “pounce” on this opportunity to bring two gentle wildcats into your life. I’ll be patiently checking my fake leather watch until you respond.
——
If you liked this, then other humor blog posts you may like include: