Jeff Wysaski
Are you sick of commercialized vacation tourist traps that promote fascist consumerism and are funded by faceless corporations? Then skip that ski trip to Vail and dump that day trip to Disneyland – Tranquility Farms Hippie Commune is your oasis to peace and harmony.
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live like a hippie, then here’s you’re opportunity to let your free spirit fly! Tranquility Farms Hippie Commune is a 100-percent authentic 1960s hippie commune (complete with REAL hippies).
Immerse yourself in the simple, laid-back philosophy of the hippie. Enjoy such exciting attractions as:
- Basket weaving
- Sleeping in hammocks
- Harvesting crops
- Not showering
- Sitting in a field all day
- Riding on horses naked
- Having anonymous sex
- Mushrooms. Mushrooms! MUSHROOMS!!
Now, I know what you’re thinking – all those mushrooms sound expensive. But that’s simply not true. Unlike our competitors, who have used filthy corporate investments to fund such “fun” attractions as roller coasters, water slides and world-class dining, Tranquility Farms has invested absolutely ZERO dollars into our vacation destination!
With no big corporations reaching into our wallets, we can pass the savings on to you. Do you have one BIG HUG and the ability to send positive brain thoughts to your fellow man? Then that’s good enough for us, because when it comes to visiting Tranquility Farms, our motto is: all you need is love.*
Tranquility Farms is conveniently located in an open ditch at the 73rd mile marker of Spur 1239. When you see the hole in the barbwire fence, you know you’re here (note: if you hit the day laborers campsite, then you’ve gone too far).
No matter what your age, Tranquility Farms invites you to take a trip back to a time of free love and terrible acoustic music! Our hippie commune is the perfect vacation destination for:
- Aging baby boomers desperately struggling to cling to their quickly fading youth
- 80s New Wavers, 90s Grunge Rockers and anyone else unfortunate enough not to grow up in the swinging 60s
- Centenarians who skipped the hippie fad, but are finally ready to see “what all the fuss was about”
So what are you waiting for? Come experience what it’s like to sit in the world’s largest mud pit! See an ACTUAL hippie bus (complete with bright-colored paint job and peace signs)! Learn what happens when kids aren’t disciplined or sent to school!!!
Visit Tranquility Farms today! Mention this ad, and receive a free “hippie” name and flower in your hair upon arrival.
*Tranquility Farms defines “love” as $45.00 USD
——
If you liked this, then other humor blog posts you may like include: