Jeff Wysaski
As we all know, trailer folk are some of the best folk in the world. However, it is also known that this hard-working backbone of the Appalachians drives a hard bargain when it comes to finding an affordable place to live. If all your years of hard work have finally paid off and you’ve managed to win the lottery or a frivolous lawsuit, then that means you’re ready to sell your trailer home and move on up to one of those fancy stationary homes you’ve seen on the television!
Or contrastly, you’ve finally hit rock bottom and are planning on camping out in a tent in the woods. Either way, you’ve got a mobile home that you’re looking to sell for top dollar. To get the most for your home sweet home, invest a little time to raise the value of that trailer with these easy and affordable tips:
Get Rid of Clutter
Clutter is your enemy when it comes to selling a trailer home. Trailers are small enough as it is – which means you don’t need things like beer cans and meth-cooking equipment scattered about and making things look even smaller. For best results, take all that stuff and throw it in the woods behind your trailer to clear up some space. Another option is to borrow your friend’s truck for a couple hours so you can haul all those beer cans to the recycling center.
Or, you could keep your treasured memories close to your heart and proudly display all those aluminum friends of yours on a handsome shelf above your bed. One look at that long row of Coors Silver Bullets, and your trailer shoppers will instantly think they’ve walked into the Ritz.
Install a Retractable Awning
If there is one trailer home addition that instantly boosts lot appeal, it’s the retractable awning. One look at this sun-stopping dream product, and your mobile home will scream classy with a capital K. Throw a couple lawn chairs under the awning, and prospective home owners will quickly realize that shade isn’t just for the Rockefellers anymore! An awning instantly turns outside consumption of alcohol into a pleasant and comfortable experience – no matter what the temperature or time of day!
Tip: to install a retractable awning on the cheap, steal one from one of those swanky doublewides on the other side of the trailer park.
Hang a Patriotic Flag From the Roof
You already know that the next tenants of your home are going to want to show their pride for America (and hatred for all those other “funny-talking” nations) by putting up a patriotic flag. Why not beat them to the punch and include such a flag free of charge? Of course, the good old-fashioned stars and stripes is the classic standard. However, other good options include a “Don’t Tread on Me” flag, Lynyrd Skynrd flag, or a simple white sheet that just says, “Get Out!”
Location, Location, Location
In the world of real estate, location is everything. And when it comes to the common trailer park, we all know that the most desirable homes are the ones that are situated close to the payphone. No one wants to walk a quarter mile every time they need to order a pizza or make a drug deal. As such, unhook your hitch and roll your trailer as close to that desirable payphone as possible.
Or, if you’re lucky enough to learn that a murder-suicide has created a recent vacancy in the vicinity of the pay phone, take the initiative and ask the park manager if you can switch lots with the previous tenants.
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