Jeff Wysaski
All children are vulnerable to feelings of nervousness, low confidence and “not fitting in.” This is especially true for children with disabilities. If you are concerned that your visually impaired child is presently heading down a dead-end track of nerdiness and unpopularity, then it’s time to do your child a favor and enroll him or her in a summer program at the Hardwick School for Cool Blind Kids.
The Hardwick School for Cool Blind Kids is the only preparatory program that is specifically designed to give blind children the necessary skills and confidence to compete with the “coolest” and most “radical” kids in their local school systems.
We all know blind kids have it tough, but it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, various research programs and studies have concluded that blind individuals are actually more genetically likely to be hip, tuned in and switched on than normally sighted people.
Clearly, science has proven that a blind person’s body overcompensates for a lack of sight not only by heightening their sense of hearing, but also by heightening what experts have come to describe as “with-it-ative-ness.”
So why isn’t your child wearing a cool set of shades and playing the saxophone in a hip jazz fusion band? Because the natural feelings of alienation caused by a traditional school are keeping your child’s natural awesomeness from blossoming!
At the Hardwick School for Cool Blind Kids, we teach your child that blindness is not a disability, but rather an over-ability. In as little as four weeks, your child will learn just how special and naturally tubular he or she is. Core topics of study offered at the Hardwick School include:
- Teen Slang
- Shades
- Backwards Hats
- Crossed Arms
- Listening to Ray Charles
- Bad-itude 101
At the completion of this one-month program, each student will be presented with a Hardwick diploma and leather jacket. If your child graduates with honors, then he or she will also be awarded with a prestigious Hardwick pork-pie hat.
Following graduation, our alumni go on to become some of the coolest and most popular kids at their traditional school. Our absorption rate into the “cool” lunch table at school is nearly 92 percent!
So what are you waiting for? Prepare your child for a long, successful lifetime of popularity and platinum gold jazz records by enrolling him or her in the Hardwick Summer School for Cool Blind Kids today!
Don’t let your child’s natural tubular-osity go to waste! Help them let the hip out with Hardwick!
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