Jeff Wysaski
Step-dads, are the children of your new wife not giving you the respect you deserve? Do your attempts at discipline fall on deaf ears? Are you sick of hearing comments about how you’re “not my real daddy?”
If so, then it’s time to show your step-kids who’s the new boss in town with the Step-Daddy Authority Suit!
Finally, a new addition to your wardrobe that gives you the same power and authority of a real biological father! By providing a look that is all at once intimidating and masculine, the Step-Daddy Authority Suit was specially designed to meet the needs of the unappreciated step-daddy.
Simply slip this miracle product over your head and you’ll instantly achieve the dominating, authoritative look that GETS RESULTS!
Increase your confidence and visual dominance! Thanks to the added height and girth provided by the triangular chest piece and giant soft-frame helmet, even the shortest of step-dads can tower over the tallest of teens. For true Giant believability, cream fabric surrounds your face before giving way to a “head” of chilling jet-black hair – resulting in a convincingly enormous cranium that children know could only belong to Colussus himself.
And what kid in his right mind would willingly choose to defy the wishes of a gargantuan, muscle-bound Colossus? No one, that’s who!
Add in the giant staff adorned with imitation human bones, and your kids will come to believe you feed off the youth (and flesh!) of little boys and girls who don’t do their homework or wash behind their ears.
Of course, under all those clothes, you’re just a loving new daddy who wants nothing more than to be hugged by your newfound treasures, but thanks to the Step-Daddy Authority Suit those new gems in your life won’t realize the fact that you’re nothing but a big pushover!
That’s right! When spankings, talking-tos and attempts to buy their love just don’t cut the mustard, it’s time to go with a disciplinary tactic that not only works, but also helps earn the love of those little ones who you’ve so graciously accepted into your household.
The Step-Daddy Authority Suit is not a costume. It is a clothing accessory that is designed to complement your everyday wardrobe. Simply slip it on over any of the monochrome spandex suits already hanging in your closet to instantly transform yourself into a powerful father figure of male masculinity!
Created from 100-percent breathable cotton, the Step-Daddy Authority Suit is comfortable enough for everyday use. Wear it inside, outside, even in the rain! Durable, stain-repellent and water-proof, the Step-Daddy Authority Suit is ready to instill discipline and fear no matter what the situation – from a quiet family meal at home to an adventurous picnic in the rain!
Finally, no more snide comments when you ask Sally how school was today! No more door slams when you tell Billy to do his homework! And no more middle fingers when you ask Jimmy if he wants to throw the baseball around with his new old man!
Become a part of the family and erase all memories of that real daddy with the Step-Daddy Authority Suit!
The Step-Daddy Authority Suit is the newest family innovation from FlimCo – the makers of the My New Daddy Kit for Single Mommies (now with more mustaches!). Flimco – fixing your family tree since 1983!
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