Jeff Wysaski
Are you interested in a career that will elevate you to high places? Have you ever longed for a job that connected you with nature? Do you enjoy working nights? If you answered, “Yes” to any of these questions, then you may be interested in becoming an owl. Keep reading to learn more about this exciting career and whether or not becoming an owl is a good fit for your personality.
Work Environment for Owls
Owls are employed in forests, mountains and barns throughout the world. The majority of owls are self-employed. However, a small percentage can also be found working in zoos and other organizations. Regardless of employer, being an owl is a largely solitary career that finds professionals perched alone in treetops and other high embankments for hours on end. As such, if you are afraid of heights, then this may not be the career for you. Common job tasks include:
- Hunting prey
- Protecting baby owls from snakes
- Searching for mates
- Creeping out campers on dark, stormy nights
- Slowly evolving over time to improve chances for species survival
- Determining how many licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop
Indicators of Success
Successful owls tend to possess a number of similar interests and characteristics. Indicators of a potentially rewarding career as an owl include:
- A strong interest in rodents
- A natural affinity for working with your talons
- A knack for detecting prey up to half a mile away
- The ability to turn your head around 270 degrees
- Having wings
Education and Training Requirements
While a certain degree of raw talent is typically considered necessary in order to be a successful owl, you by no means need to be a “naturally born owl.” In fact, most successful owls haven’t even graduated from high school. That being said, improved advancement opportunities may be eligible for those who enroll in post-graduate programs related to zoology, forestry preservation and animal husbandry. Outside of schooling, training opportunities that can prepare an individual for a career as an owl include:
- Taking flying lessons
- Improving stalking abilities by trailing and attacking strangers
- Sitting in trees and yelling “Who?” at people who walk by
- Crafting a suit of feathers and wearing it often
Job Outlook for Owls
While the depletion of natural habitats has reduced overall job demand for owls, viable career opportunities remain available in a broad number of rural and secluded locations. The median annual salary for a professional owl is estimated at minimal to non-existent. However, a number of job perks help ensure that being an owl is a satisfying and rewarding way to make a living. These job perks include:
- Free housing
- All the food you can catch
- An assigned mate for breeding
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