Jeff Wysaski
All of these tweeters deserve way more followers. Go follow them all right now!
1. @ReelQuinn
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) May 28, 2013
https://twitter.com/couchdweller/status/399621263398035457
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) June 19, 2013
4. @GrowlyGrego
[at Eminem show]
Cuz I am / whatever you say I am /
[from crowd]
"Ur a pony! Ur a tablecloth!"
The shapeshifting continues for hours.— greg (@GrowlyGrego) October 31, 2013
*on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*
— elon mustard (@nice_mustard) January 17, 2014
6. @primawesome
Hey, little regular fry in my curly fries. Just be yourself, buddy.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) February 24, 2012
7. @SortaBad
A Tinder but for dogs in your area you could meet and pet
— Napcore Influencer (@SortaBad) March 23, 2014
i like how at this walmart they put baby food products in the checkout lane. like oops thats right i have a baby to feed
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) March 28, 2014
https://twitter.com/jackiecarbajal/status/454676788283998209
10. @GregDorris
https://twitter.com/GregDorris/status/348149900468441088
11. @Lowenaffchen
Glue a tiny mirror over your driver's license photo so when you hand it to the cops they get confused and start arresting themselves instead
— Alex Nichols (@Lowenaffchen) January 14, 2013
12. @AceMakesWords
https://twitter.com/AceMakesWords/status/340925775878434818
13. @CEHudspeth
I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either.
— Chris Hudspeth (@CEHudspeth) August 20, 2013
14. @EireannDolan
"Webster's Dictionary defines 'Susan' as 'Not my real mom and never will be'…" – Opening line of the toast I'm giving at my dad's wedding
— Eireann Dolan (@EireannDolan) December 28, 2012
15. @Soren_LTD
Before dogs and humans were friends, who fixed their ears when they got inside-out?
— Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) June 27, 2013
16. @BuckyIsotope
Keanu Reeves stuck motionless on a horse forever because every time it starts to move he goes "whoa".
— Dr. Bucky Isotope, why am I here, am I even real? (@BuckyIsotope) September 13, 2013