Jeff Wysaski
Here are a few top tweets to help start out your week…
https://twitter.com/lawblob/status/455375712758022144
https://twitter.com/LauraBenanti/status/450015899505131520
https://twitter.com/mattingebretson/status/508347824052785152
Sex can be a spiritual experience. Especially the praying for it part.
— guterman (@danguterman) October 14, 2014
Genie: I shall grant you three wishes
Me: I wish for world pea-
Genie: BORRRRRIIIING your eyes can shoot lasers now, next wish
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 12, 2014
https://twitter.com/AceMakesWords/status/415708578075250689
Can't believe how different booty calling and butt dialing are
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) July 12, 2014
https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/461602116986220545
my phone autocorected "im bored" to "im boring" and i was like, yeah
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) October 26, 2014
*stripper bursts out of cake*
*alien bursts out of stripper*— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) May 31, 2014
The other guy on this cliff screaming at the sky just threw his wedding ring over which makes me feel less bad about losing my kite.
— ceej (@ceejoyner) September 15, 2014
https://twitter.com/GregDorris/status/516761597243817985
Missed connections: you were at the weird al show. I was the guy who leaned over to say "no wonder they call him weird al" after every song
— Alex Nichols (@Lowenaffchen) July 27, 2013
https://twitter.com/AaronFullerton/status/525344024623087616
https://twitter.com/SeanBlazed/status/363027138221309953