Jeff Wysaski
All of these very funny people have less than 10,000 followers. Help rectify this vicious, intolerable Internet crime and FOLLOW THEM ALL RIGHT NOW…
https://twitter.com/hippieswordfish/status/521331864821571585
2. @ElleOhHell
https://twitter.com/elleohhell/status/461880414441709568
at first the illuminati pretended 9/11 wasnt an inside job but one day they got sloppy. accidentally printed a bunch of clues on the money
— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) February 22, 2014
[White House]
Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS?
*Biden excitedly raises hand*
Besides assembling the Avengers.
*Biden dejectedly lowers hand*— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) September 18, 2014
https://twitter.com/somelightcrying/status/506795223553683456
6. @pharmasean
I may be dating myself here but: would I like some more wine? Yes please. I am very pretty. May I take off our bra? Yes we am a naughty boy
— pensive calypso music (@pharmasean) March 19, 2014
"Son you're just not cut out to be a mime."
"Is it something I said?"
"Yes."— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) September 27, 2014
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
— Maebe Marbles (@maebemarbles) May 12, 2014
9. @philyuck
https://twitter.com/philyuck/status/530021087707271168
10. @DillDoes
https://twitter.com/dilldoes/status/479491488049410049
11. @Laser_Cat
https://twitter.com/laser_cat/status/524589790352519168
12. @justabloodygame
*Doorbell rings*
*it's a regular kid*
"Trick or treat!"
…and what are you supposed to be?
*removes face, revealing an unending void*
ＨＵＭＡＮ— Glenn Loury 2.0 Darker, Gayer, Different (@justabloodygame) October 29, 2014
13. @BeardSpice
https://twitter.com/BeardSpice/status/514608331327930368
14. @sad_tree
https://twitter.com/sad_tree/status/519134467970306048
15. @Jennuflect
[At Neiman Marcus]
*looks at sales clerk*
*holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase*
I don't know…which one will hold more chicken nuggets?— Jenn (@Jennuflect) August 19, 2014
16. @RXitWounds
"Say Yes to the Tux" would consist of him picking out the 1st one he sees & then 28 minutes of him explaining to his fiancé why it's orange
— Cory (@RxitWounds) October 26, 2014
17. @specialhug
https://twitter.com/specialhug/status/469165296150790145
18. @SomeChrisTweets
https://twitter.com/SomeChrisTweets/status/454334033338433536
19. @SirEviscerate
*accidentally uses flash while trying to take pic of funny looking person on the bus*
…
*makes distant thunder noises with mouth*— Ray (@SirEviscerate) August 6, 2014
20. @fro_vo
https://twitter.com/fro_vo/status/435925268255891456
Previously: 16 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read