Jeff Wysaski
These Twitter users deserve your attention…
https://twitter.com/satanstongue/status/547640919823249408
https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/397425767669198848
My wife and I are both feminists. But as a man, I’m a tiny bit better at it.
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) November 6, 2014
https://twitter.com/marieberd/status/474695638207045632
*Sir Mix-a-Lot shakes magic 8-ball in store*
Do I like big butts?
NO
*hands it back to clerk*
This one's defective— Dr. Bucky Isotope, why am I here, am I even real? (@BuckyIsotope) December 29, 2014
https://twitter.com/lostcatdog/status/532339103581601793
People are like snowflakes. I get nervous when I'm driving over them.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) December 22, 2014
*Dinner with 5 people from history*
FDR: "Wait, do we die again when this is over?"
Grandfather: "I don't want to die."
Jesus: "HELP US!"— Spencer Porter (@porters) April 23, 2014
https://twitter.com/abbycohenwl/status/524915383992463361
Saw a bad accident from my hot air balloon so I tried landing to help but just ended up killing everyone even worse
— Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) February 9, 2014
https://twitter.com/thetigersez/status/549289669628674048
https://twitter.com/jaggings/status/453175953704099840
[hospital]
"We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."
"Is that bahahaad?"
"Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."— kyle raney (@Kyle_Raney) September 5, 2014
I <3 on Family Feud when some1 messes up horribly but their fam loudly cheers "GOOD ANSWER." I need a crew like that to follow me everywhere
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 4, 2015
*shows off Chinese Character tattoo on arm*
It means 'updog'
"What's updog?"
*lifts other sleeve*
this one means 'not much what's up w you'— Napcore Influencer (@SortaBad) October 26, 2014