Jeff Wysaski
Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) January 12, 2015
https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/status/566625676800057344
"WHAT DO WE WANT?"
A POPULAR SYNONYM FOR THE WORD NOW!
"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"
FORTHWITH!— Bozo (@BrandonElzby) September 19, 2013
https://twitter.com/blitznbeans/status/380367513663451136
Is it too much to ask to just stand on a mountain, holding my sword aloft as lightning strikes it without some asshole painting me?
— vladchoc (@vladchoc) March 3, 2015
https://twitter.com/sarcasm_inc/status/580519650355744768
https://twitter.com/koalaslament/status/583019584539607040
https://twitter.com/SortaBad/status/584742767366012928
https://twitter.com/CarlRadbunny/status/413774904899932160
https://twitter.com/fro_vo/status/574081336337645568
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) June 4, 2014
DON'T YOU
*organ music*
TELL ME
*organ music*
TO CALM
*organ music*
DOWN— me, arguing from a carousel
— lil jon lovitz(?) (@liljonlovitz) March 5, 2015
*Drops cup, dog freaks out*
"Haha, silly dog."
*phone rings*
"OH JESUS WHO IS IT HANG UP HANG UP"
— Brian M. M. Doyle (@WritePlay) February 16, 2015
[See's a guy playing bagpipes]
Son: Why's that man wearing a skirt?
Me: I think the real question is why is he sucking that musical octopus?— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) March 24, 2015
[recording studio]
80s BAND: *gradually plays instruments quieter and quieter at the end of the song*
PRODUCER: Guys u don't need to do that— pat tobin (@tastefactory) March 25, 2015
Funny Tweets: Next Page–>