Mike
Looking to cure your case of the Mondays? Try some hilarious tweets!
Before you can call someone you're dating your "partner" you should have to solve a crime together.
— chelsea anét (@chelseaanet) January 29, 2014
Did you know you can turn Tylenol into Tylenol Back Pain just by adding the words "Back Pain"? The secret ingredient is words.
— Jason Berlin (@JasonBerlin) November 30, 2012
https://twitter.com/msdanifernandez/status/507354841346080768
I don't have tattoos for the same reason I don't have children — I'm afraid if someone tells me they're ugly, I won't want them anymore.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) May 23, 2015
I'd be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
— Droll Meets Bawdy (@kiralc) May 21, 2015
https://twitter.com/JhonRules/status/595080003559129088
https://twitter.com/WigCannon/status/601528856059760641
Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) August 18, 2013
https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/status/601476617794363393
My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) October 9, 2014
You never really know a person until you hear them try to solve their mother's computer problems over the phone.
— ghost mom (@radtoria) March 6, 2015
A person with glasses can see all of your flaws. They are in a position of power. You're picking on the wrong kids, bullies.
— Mindy Furano (@MindyFurano) May 18, 2015
A tribal tattoo is what happens when a dude who wants to get inked up isn't passionate about anything
— Napcore Influencer (@SortaBad) April 27, 2015
can't wait til the future when humans can fly and we can finally complain about bird traffic
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) May 18, 2015
If you see someone attractive, it's ok to stare at us.
— yoyoha (@yoyoha) May 6, 2015