15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read
The following tweets provide 100% of the body’s weekly required laughter:
https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/479717615502233601
Today sucks more than a tyrannosaurus fielding ground balls.
— The JNCO Jughead (@VocabuLarry) April 12, 2011
Oh, I'm the kind of smart that makes me angry, not successful.
— Ꭺhm🐉 (@Ahm76) September 17, 2012
*Walks up to someone picking up their dog's poop*
"Whatever he's paying you, I'll double it."
— Shari VanderWerf (@Shariv67) May 10, 2015
https://twitter.com/WookieOnUnicorn/status/484805434897731584
https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/602141199579947008
My summer look is "abandoned scarecrow"
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 27, 2015
https://twitter.com/itsa_talia/status/604030350063370241
I know it's cliché, but I can't help but listen to the Donkey Kong theme music when I'm on the barrel jumping machine at the gym.
— Cortronic (@cortronic) April 29, 2015
https://twitter.com/justaride/status/602156635348279296
https://twitter.com/cloudypianos/status/601091759662190592
https://twitter.com/STOTLE/status/601119813394505728
https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/601831210847838208
[Testing Cat-Human Translator]
Scientist: Cat, what is your name?
Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER
Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks.— Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) November 21, 2014
https://twitter.com/dragnut/status/305502486771412993