Jeff Wysaski
What’s that smell? Ah yes, it’s the delicious aroma of finely crafted tweets…
[job interview]
Me: Time travel
Boss: What is your biggest stren—WHAT?!— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) February 18, 2015
https://twitter.com/abbycohenwl/status/627512876723367936
Steve Harvey: OK the category is "Sounds We All Love"
Dad: Borp.
Steve: Show me "Borp!"
*all 8 panels flip and they all say "Borp"*— Adam Levine (@aclevine86) July 13, 2015
*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
— batkaren (@batkaren) August 1, 2015
[Family eating dinner]
MOM: Are we forgetting vegetables?
SON: But I hate vegetables
[sobbing from other room]
VEGETABLES: I WISH I WAS DEAD— ŵ͂̌́͝͡ylde d̵̛̛̜͉̰͈̩͙͌̈̉̆̋̊͡͡e b̡͇̲̏́̐̓̐́̇eest (@flashember) June 18, 2015
[running away from lions really fast]
Dad I dont think I can make it
"Now son what do I always say?"
*sighs* We are antelopes not cantelopes— Dylan Mangan (@dyldonot) January 11, 2015
"Well this isn't what I expected at all."
-an Owl at Hooters
— huntigula (@huntigula) September 3, 2014
the cashier at Petsmart just told me I smell really good which would be a compliment if my competition wasn't a bunch of dogs and gerbils
— Kristen Drum (@kristendrum) April 2, 2015
https://twitter.com/madeleinedoux/status/578692408168341504
GF: "you're so childish"
me: "it's my day too linda"
[we sit in silence]
wedding planner: "so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) July 31, 2015
Bud Light: are you up for whatever?
Me: hell yeah!!
Bud Light: ok drink this Bud Light
Me: …ok let's say I'm up for MOST things— Napcore Influencer (@SortaBad) July 29, 2015
[listening to the weather report nodding] Yeah, I get it. My lows were in the mid-nineties too.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 30, 2015
you know if you run out of tissues you can cry directly into the toilet
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) July 30, 2015
https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/status/627501682130329600
https://twitter.com/DanMentos/status/532318133025902592
Last Week’s Funny Tweets–>