Mike
This week’s tweet list is sure to cure your case of the Mondays.
https://twitter.com/DanMentos/status/522243112542806016
If I opened a bar I'd name it Krow Bar because it's the opposite of work and sounds good.
— Mrs. Donald Darko (@LadyBroseph) September 24, 2015
So weird how furniture stores call them 'bedside tables' instead of snack wrapper graveyards.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) September 21, 2015
You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) September 21, 2015
Hi, mom? Can you come pick me up from life
— Molly (@Molly_Kats) September 9, 2015
https://twitter.com/justaride/status/382319524311085056
https://twitter.com/longwall26/status/628619085979516928
https://twitter.com/laurenreeves/status/605559143538126849
Cosplay is for nerds says the man who wears another man's sports jersey.
— Fahim Anwar (@fahimanwar) September 19, 2015
https://twitter.com/SomeChrisTweets/status/643301376131379200
https://twitter.com/cloudypianos/status/632066569049214976
The hardest part about being black is deciding what stereotypes to live up to. And remembering not to step on my penis.
— Travon Free (@Travon) October 8, 2011
You know when you meet someone and you just know their phone screen is cracked without even seeing it?
— kim (@KimmyMonte) September 18, 2015
https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/status/646486355208499200
When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 18, 2015