Mike
Feast your eyes on this list of exemplary tweets.
My uncle owns a farm, for $20 he'll let you punch a cow
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) December 1, 2015
https://twitter.com/UNTRESOR/status/357959512914792449
https://twitter.com/SomeChrisTweets/status/499414504632229888
Pearl Jam announced their tour dates today, if you're looking for a fun way to teach your kids their vowels.
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) January 19, 2016
https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/690211690969985024
SCIENCE: This is true.
HALF OF AMERICA: No.
— Sam Reid (@SamReidSays) March 20, 2015
Sometimes I think my dog wouldn't understand social media, but then he pees on the same 12 trash cans each day and I think, nah, he gets it.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 19, 2016
https://twitter.com/TheDairylandDon/status/568242612915847168
https://twitter.com/ruinedpicnic/status/678437811985506305
https://twitter.com/DanMentos/status/689682725255557124
I eat like I have to move on to the next challenge
— Droll Meets Bawdy (@kiralc) March 7, 2013
im in love with a factory worker *factory explodes in the distance* who died recently
— meatshirt (@prettysadmostly) January 17, 2016
I just want to sleep so long that my brain runs out of dream ideas.
— denise (@Stellacopter) January 5, 2016
https://twitter.com/WigCannon/status/688023401559126017
https://twitter.com/Kendragarden/status/299649408033751040