15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read
Sink your eye teeth into this meaty list of tweets.
Sasquatch is just a regular quatch who tells it like it is.
— JasonLastname (@JasonLastname) April 7, 2015
https://twitter.com/wankcity/status/273623896786337792
https://twitter.com/MarkAgee/status/648235967434719232
https://twitter.com/KarenKilgariff/status/360087104870559744
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.
— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik) January 21, 2016
https://twitter.com/TheThomason/status/443085967843291137
Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) February 28, 2014
https://twitter.com/SortaBad/status/707380291002769408
All dogs go to heaven. Seriously, every last one of them. So when you get to heaven you probably won't be able to find yours. It will be sad
— Daniel Carrillo (@DanielRCarrillo) June 25, 2013
https://twitter.com/ladybroseph/status/453735379204444160
What do you mean I didn’t win I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) November 10, 2013
https://twitter.com/lanyardigan/status/599600593955459072
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
— Jessie 🦇 (@NicCageMatch) April 10, 2014
[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me]
i am also free that day.— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 1, 2016
At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
— Thing Bad (@Merman_Melville) March 10, 2016