Mike
These words have been combined in such a way to provide optimum humor and enjoyment.
DOG BOSS: Any messages for me?
DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy
DOG BOSS: who’s Agoodboy?
DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) December 10, 2015
I gotta stop bringing up finishing seasons of TV shows like it's an accomplishment
— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) May 29, 2016
Once at O'Hare I saw a lady wearing a jean jacket with an airbrushed portrait of Diana Ross on it. She turned around & it was Diana Ross.
— Alicia Hawkes (@AliciaHawkes) December 4, 2013
THERAPIST: lets pick some attainable goals
ME: happiness
THERAPIST: nope
ME: love
THERAPIST: not quite
ME: lunch
THERAPIST: now we're talkin— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) April 3, 2016
https://twitter.com/vineyille/status/736190254487592960
https://twitter.com/SomeChrisTweets/status/738944905624440833
ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby
3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend— Dr. Bucky Isotope, why am I here, am I even real? (@BuckyIsotope) June 2, 2016
https://twitter.com/trojansauce/status/738357547778854912
"Here kitty, kitty, kitty"
– me, drunk, about to get bit by a raccoon
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 25, 2015
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE TURNING DOWN THE THERMOSTAT WITHOUT NEGOTIATING WITH ANYONE
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 17, 2014
https://twitter.com/LMHPhotog/status/738561706046033920
The middle initials "R.R.", a ranked list:
1. J.R.R. Tolkien
2. George R.R. Martin
3. The Children R.R. Future— Line Art Lionheart (@notalogin) February 28, 2016
https://twitter.com/awescar/status/372372200436662272
https://twitter.com/RegularFred/status/731471873289113602
If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look.
— Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) August 11, 2015