Mike
One lone Blockbuster Video remains, and they desperately want your attention. You never call. You never write. You never returned that copy of Rush Hour 2. So they sit there waiting, firing lonely tweets into the ether.
1.
Please stop sending us photos of abandoned blockbusters. That's like us sending you photos of your dead grandparents.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) March 25, 2017
2.
If you plan on coming in today just tweet me and I'll run over and open up the store.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 2, 2017
3.
A lot of people don't know this but we own a large portion of Netflix. Just kidding our electricity just got shut off.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) June 17, 2017
4.
How do you think it makes us feel when you take a selfie with our sign and then leave without coming inside?
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 24, 2016
5.
Sometimes we'll get excited when cars pull into our lot but then it turns out they're just divorced parents passing along their children.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 31, 2016
6.
Netflix doesn't even have any stores.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) September 3, 2016
7.
We're watching Titanic and the boobs part starts in like 15 minutes if you guys wanna get down here.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 30, 2017
8.
A great way to improve your Blockbuster experience is to lower your expectations.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 28, 2017
9.
Tomorrow and tomorrow only we will be forgiving all late fees as long as you bring in a written apology and give us one compliment.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 28, 2016
10.
Every time you return a tape without rewinding it a bald eagle flies into a plane engine.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) December 7, 2016
11.
If we put Gremlins in the horror section you complain it's a comedy. If we put in comedy you say its horror. There's no winning w/ u people.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 5, 2016
12.
One year ago today we joined Twitter to bring our brand back to life and while it's actually had the opposite effect we've still had fun.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 24, 2017
13.
It's statistically impossible for the customer to always be right.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 2, 2016
14.
Unlike with Netflix, your Blockbuster accounts are 100% safe except for the time Darren was caught selling your credit card numbers.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 21, 2016
15.
"Films were meant to be watched on DVD, never streamed on the internet. Computers are for looking at naked babes." -Orson Welles
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) June 30, 2017
16.
We're excited to finally share our Super Bowl ad with all of you today. Check out page 26 of this week's Auto Trader.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 5, 2017
17.
A couple guys in hard hats just tape measured the front of our store. That can't be good, right?
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 2, 2016
18.
HBO Now is $15/month. A rental at Blockbuster only costs $4.99. You do the math.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 28, 2016
19.
Here at Blockbuster, we have one motto: If the hot oil from our popcorn machine scalds you, you get 25% off any candy purchase.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) August 1, 2017
20.
We want to formally apologize to everyone who came to the Bradley Cooper autograph signing. We didn't realize you were expecting the actor.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 24, 2017
21.
Hey people stealing our candy, jokes on you, most of that stuff expired in 2008.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 13, 2016
22.
A blind man just walked in thinking this was a gas station & I didn't have the heart to tell him so I sold him a pack of my own cigarettes.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) December 20, 2016
23.
Every time you throw out a VCR it ends up in a landfill and a raccoon eats the parts thinking it's food and dies. Just an FYI.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) September 22, 2016
24.
My manager is offering a free movie rental today if you stay and watch it with her.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 19, 2017
25.
A blockbuster gift certificate is a great way to apologize to your sister.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) July 13, 2017
via boredpanda