Mike
I’ve been on twitter for years and it never ceases to amaze me how every week I can find 15 new and amazing tweets to share with you guys. Enjoy.
1.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/613126422727520256
2.
https://twitter.com/frenchielaboozi/status/619269280845197313
3.
https://twitter.com/philyuck/status/931917425737580544
4.
You hear a demonic laugh coming from the basement steps. You know it can't be her, she died 15 years ago. But maybe…it's Maybelline.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) November 29, 2017
5.
So it turns out we were both wrong, but the important thing to remember is you were more wrong.
— Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) November 20, 2017
6.
"Hey, you guys dare me to eat this whole party sub by myself?"
I ask the dolls that line my bedroom shelves— dick snickers (@smithsara79) May 22, 2017
7.
https://twitter.com/Racheldoesstuff/status/934481600615559168
8.
https://twitter.com/text_quest/status/935710640727044096
9.
I think a good name for a beer would be Brew Swillis
— demiurge moore (@online_shawn) November 25, 2017
10.
My favorite festive sex position is "the ornament"; its when someone barely touches me and I fall and emotionally shatter into 100 pieces
— Kyle Patrick (@kyry5) December 24, 2015
11.
https://twitter.com/Mr_Kapowski/status/933485572856856576
12.
https://twitter.com/xLiserx/status/899263325586038784
13.
https://twitter.com/liv_thatsme/status/863565073985531906
14.
I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 7, 2013
15.
“Mark! My words!” I yell at Mark, my word butler, who finishes all my sentences bc i have, uhhh…
Mark: “Aphasia, ma’am. You have aphasia.”— KattsDogma (@KattsDogma) November 1, 2017