Lex
Twitter is a beautiful and magical place where, in 140 characters or less, women are changing the world. Ok fine, maybe not always “changing the world,” but definitely making solid jokes about our boobs.
1.
https://twitter.com/ledbettercarly/status/934963197521678336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fentry%2Fthe-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week_us_5a204b2fe4b0a8581e690162
2.
I can't wait to own a dog and name him something dumb like Lasagna lmao. GO EAT LASAGNA. GO TO BED DILDO. UR BEING A BAD BOY BURRITO.
— Katie Corvino (@kTc0rvin0) November 29, 2017
3.
https://twitter.com/crissles/status/936438008466825216?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fentry%2Fthe-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week_us_5a204b2fe4b0a8581e690162
4.
https://twitter.com/bimadew/status/936652776804880384
5.
https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/937056206295887872
6.
https://twitter.com/kellyconaboy/status/936643917205921792
7.
https://twitter.com/harmonicait/status/937008983201660928
8.
Shout-out to everybody who had visitors to a big city over the long weekend and showed them how to stand to the right on the escalators and walk on the left.
— Laura Helmuth (@laurahelmuth) November 27, 2017
9.
https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/936635131091214336
10.
Wait. Are we all sure they’re called “dogs” and not “doogs”?… Cause “Good doog!” sounds so much cooler and also we’re missing out on a kickbutt palindrome.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) December 1, 2017
11.
https://twitter.com/amandamull/status/937196582327541760
12.
https://twitter.com/ariesbIood/status/937019033903423488
13.
I’m on a diet for most of the day. I start out really well and then by 5pm I’m like I’ve been so good today and eat a bunch of pizza and candy.
— Gigi Engle (@GigiEngle) December 1, 2017
14.
I am so severely navigationally challenged, when cab drivers ask me for directions, I respond as if I've been asked to perform heart surgery
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) December 3, 2017
15.
Current Mood: I can't believe I winged my eyeliner for this shit.
— Zara Barrie (@FactoryGrrrl) November 29, 2017
16.
wen u realize u feed ur cat more than u feed urself pic.twitter.com/uv1L7ssjF6
— Kaitlyn Cawley (@kcawlz) November 30, 2017
17.
https://twitter.com/alexialafata/status/934818760497815553
18.
*opens can of spaghetti sauce and pours it on noodles* i am a chef
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) November 28, 2017
19.
https://twitter.com/Kendragarden/status/935346388593811456?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fentry%2Fthe-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week_us_5a204b2fe4b0a8581e690162
20.
https://twitter.com/SummerCandyEyes/status/937014729255645185
21.
If getting my winter body ready means it looks like a snowman, mine's ready.
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) November 29, 2017
22.
https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/936355178470608898
23.
https://twitter.com/illiter8too/status/834769737083133952
24.
No thanks, malls. I shop from home without pants like a normal person.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) November 25, 2017
25.
https://twitter.com/jenavievehatch/status/936631414962847745
26.
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) December 3, 2017
27.
https://twitter.com/msemilymccombs/status/936276950951264257