Jake
Enjoy some of the funniest Tweets of 2018!
51.
Sex Robot: "So what are we?"
Me: pic.twitter.com/3Ysa0HD8LR— Smitty Werbenjagermanjenson (@ChiddenxNuddet) January 15, 2018
50.
I love LA pic.twitter.com/VaBaZih5Oj
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) January 16, 2018
49.
https://twitter.com/samkalidi/status/953423040607432704
48.
me walking: hit me bitch
me driving: ill hit u bitch— freak hoe (@mikaelapeach) January 7, 2018
47.
https://twitter.com/blainecapatch/status/948613218317946880
46.
If a Transformer died could you just use it’s body as a regular car? Like, respectfully tho.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 12, 2018
45.
Skyrockets in flight/Borat voice 'My Wife'
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) January 7, 2018
44.
https://twitter.com/buduhh_/status/950614557453574144
43.
my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 3, 2018
42.
So they changed the law in Oregon to let people pump their own gas and the Facebook comments on the news story are amazing. pic.twitter.com/MZ7jcBQRUF
— Kristytipsen (@Kristytipsy) January 2, 2018
41.
https://twitter.com/Bobby_Corwin/status/952727564224684033
40.
https://twitter.com/danikaharrod/status/949719206681071616
39.
https://twitter.com/Rebecca_Siobhan/status/950677427860201472
38.
https://twitter.com/braag_/status/951897441099329536
37.
https://twitter.com/IDlOT_TEEN/status/951221367868985345
36.
https://twitter.com/thcmoonman/status/951561347531190274
35.
FINALLY a petition I can get behind. Give what you can pic.twitter.com/57qcUAnxUG
— Rachael Scarsbrook (@andthe_machine) January 3, 2018
34.
https://twitter.com/sewkx/status/949741150361047040
33.
If your science folder wasn’t green when you were a kid you’re psychopath sorry boss I don’t make the rules
— Dominic (@sweatpants_hq) January 14, 2018
32.
I will. pic.twitter.com/hLaUQJOSl4
— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) July 10, 2017
31.
https://twitter.com/sassykattx/status/952698966289911809
30.
When I was 8, I asked my dad why Charlie Brown was bald and he said “chemotherapy.” I looked at my mom and she said “Charlie Brown has cancer.” Then they both started laughing
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) January 13, 2018
29.
https://twitter.com/AndyCole84/status/949382598454685696
28.
ME: I don’t want to
GWYNETH: Put this coffee up your bum
ME: But- *sobs*
GWYNETH: Do it
ME: The jade eggs are still in there— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) January 9, 2018
27.
https://twitter.com/Ferrrgle/status/949999086408749056
26.
https://twitter.com/kibblesmith/status/952799675870076928
25.
https://twitter.com/finah/status/950526844398223360
24.
just want to make sure everyone is aware that the guy Paris Hilton is engaged to is none other than hottie lamottie with the swimmers body from Hannah Montana pic.twitter.com/wLtAC1MC3S
— Sara Greenspan (@sara_greenspan) January 8, 2018
23.
https://twitter.com/shookshack/status/949727300647575555
22.
So that’s what PEMDAS means https://t.co/LOTygPjqO9
— luis (@luissdm_) January 8, 2018
21.
i met satan today pic.twitter.com/YmNvO53lFe
— Connor Franta (@connorfranta) January 13, 2018
20.
https://twitter.com/phranqueigh/status/949100230795984896
19.
Top tip.
Don’t throw away your old Christmas cards.
They can be reused throughout the year. pic.twitter.com/9QvyrnXxEg— joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 2, 2018
18.
i may be messy but im ORGANISED messy. if i need eyelash glue i KNOW that theres a tube on the floor under the left side of my bed bc i saw it there when i was looking for other shit i needed and i memorised its specific and random location for future uses
— maja anushka (@majaanushka) January 13, 2018
17.
Went and saw The Post tonight. I watched a film about newspapers inside a movie theater inside of a mall. It was a dying industry turducken.
— Hollywood T (@tyler_is_comedy) January 9, 2018
16.
Titles I‘d fully believe were British TV shows:
Beamish and Quigley
The Quite Corking Quiz Show
Shan’t We Tell the Vicar?
A Bee’s As Good As A Bonnet
Up Your Arse, Alistair!
That Isn’t How We Do It in Lincolnshire, That Isn’t How We Do It At All
Just Joanna Lumley
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) January 9, 2018
15.
https://twitter.com/YaDingoid/status/952029035932024832
14.
This pic of Meghan Trainor and the kid from Spy Kids leaving a sex shop with a bag of dildos is truly haunting pic.twitter.com/aVAeosLqym
— Fat Slag (@Andrewisliv1d) January 4, 2018
13.
https://twitter.com/a_lolbrarian/status/952346115277574145
12.
https://twitter.com/biniambiz/status/952296557264609280
11.
Just got Ed Sheeran’s new album pic.twitter.com/zeNClYMy8h
— Harvey Lindsay (@HarveyLindsay) January 2, 2018
10.
My dad is in Hawaii for travel… pic.twitter.com/6JXecxuIBt
— Anderson (@JasonMan811) January 13, 2018
9.
https://twitter.com/thomaskeamon/status/950954594762481664
8.
Black Mirror (2017) pic.twitter.com/F46aFjuN7j
— sim (@s1mxne) January 2, 2018
7.
How to lose a guy in 10 seconds pic.twitter.com/T14tXI0hy2
— lolita (@lolamaeriley) January 8, 2018
6.
https://twitter.com/mikefossey/status/952357647008845824
5.
"The Twilight Zone" makes me long for the days when you could smoke on a spaceship.
— Chris Murphy (@chrismurphyusa) January 1, 2013
4.
https://twitter.com/brokeangeI/status/951365777285943296
3.
https://twitter.com/Daanieltran/status/950096964821114881
2.
https://twitter.com/jaimesuemil/status/950897412763213824
1.
The scariest part of Psycho is when she gets in the shower and THEN turns it on.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 15, 2018